UnNews:Yang finally wins against Yin
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Yang finally wins against Yin
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 31, 2015, 09:48:UTC)(
4 September 2008
METAPHYSICAL PLANE - In an unprecedented display of "gittin' 'er done", Yang finally flooded Yin with Yangy goodness today, which is certain to have an effect on the fabric of reality. According to local sources my inner ear and retina, Goats are singing, horses are mewing and even deep-ocean-vent lichens are whistling a little tune. In the excellent times to follow, my inner ear hopes to become better acquainted with my retina.
Times have never been better and as winter approaches we can all comfort ourselves with the fact that Yang is going to clean up the little fuzzy outlines that remind us all of the previous paradigm, because in the new age to come there will always be an abundance of well-fed photoshop artists.
However, like a good journalist I ventured out into the darkest pits of hell, now largely vacated and undergoing remediation by kind-hearted ecological specialists, to find the other side of the story.
Yin finally appeared on the metaphysical horizon, clearly exhausted. I tried to chat with Yin and it was related to me that the damn cropping spoiled the limitless vast expanse of emptiness beyond current human interpretation. I was cheered up immensely about finally getting the other side of the story and immediately departed for the nearest rave party. I'm so happy!