UnNews:Writer's Strike means no new TV shows
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
5 November 2007
The Writer's Guild of America (WGA) is going to go on Strike soon. Your favorite US TV shows will be either off the air or replaced with reruns or older programming. It also means those Hollywood Movies you've been waiting for won't be released like the "Justice League of America" or "Wolverine" movies.
NBC already stated that it will fill in time slots during the strike with reruns of WWE Sports-Entertainment Wrestling Shows, The Cosby Show, Cheers, Quantum Leap, Hills Street Blues, Alf, I Dream of Jeannie, Columbo and many others. NBC Executive Chairman Dick Ebersol stated that "Most of these shows the younger generation of American were born after and never saw them anyway. Mostly shows from the 1950's, 1960's, 1970's, 1980's, and early 1990's will make good time fillers. Plus we made a deal with WWE to show older versions of their Raw and WCW Nitro shows from ten years ago, even if most of their wrestlers have died. We got a great deal on the Chris Benoit appearances on those shows and we think that such a wrestler would draw a much larger number of viewers to our network during the strike. I just love how he puts those strangle holds on his opponents, he appears to be quite an expert at that. I forgot why they don't use him in those new shows anymore, I think he retired or something. Anyway it all makes for better entertaining shows."
Hollywood has responded that while they don't have the script writers in the USA for those movies, they are going to hire Bollywood script writers to finish up the scripts so the movies can be finished on time. If not they will just take Bollywood movies and redub them in English and then put the redubbed Bollywood shows into movie theaters instead. If that doesn't work, they will just take classic scripts from old TV shows or old Hollywood movies and just remake them. Harvey Xerox a movie producer for Universal was quoted as saying "Basically we just recycle old TV show scripts and old Hollywood movies into new scripts and nobody really knows the difference anymore. I am sure that the Bollywood script writers can recycle the old scripts into new ones as well if not better than the writer's guild of American can or could do anyway. Even if the movies bomb, I still get paid no matter what. So really, I don't give a flying fuck if the script and/or movie turns out bad."
ABC, CBS, Fox, CW, etc have stated than rather commit the blunder that NBC is doing, they will just recycle the old scripts into new scripts like Hollywood seems to be doing anyway. After all, there was only one script written for House and all they have done is just recycle the same script over and over again and just change the mystery illness the patient suffers from, and just change around the lines the characters say so they sound different. Most modern TV shows are like that anyway and nobody seems to have noticed. It was something all of those different versions of Star Trek TV series kept on doing as an experiment to see if anyone noticed that they were just recycling old classic Star Trek scripts from the 1960's show, the original series of Star Trek. Although some TV viewers who can remember the last Writer's Strike in the 1980's, and how it brought about shows like "Moonlighting" which made Bruce Willis famous, and they claim that they want none of that again and would rather read books instead of watching TV shows during the strike.
In support of the writer's guild, other writers guilds are going on strike to support the TV and Hollywood writers. The politicians writers guild that writes speeches for politicians has announced that they too will go on strike, giving politicians nothing to say in public for the first time ever since they allowed Mimes to run for public office. Even the Wiki writers guild will be going on strike, like those of us here at Uncyclopedia and over at Wikipedia. Well maybe not at Uncyclopedia, let us see what fundraising turned up to see if we writers can get paid something. $7.59USD? That is how much the public thinks we are worth? That is it, we go on strike now! No more new articles from us US Uncyclopedia writers, and no more new UnBooks and UnNews articles either. In fact I am so upset over this, that I refuse to finish the rest of this article!
- Jeff Guiles "Writers' Strike Coming Sooner Than Expected? Bad News For Justice League!". Rotten Tomatoes, October 1, 2007