UnNews:World dumps US Dollar as Standard switches to EU Euro, US Economy Collapses
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
6 October 2009
North America, the former USA, New York, New York -- France, Russia, and China made a secret deal with Middle-Eastern and South American nations to stop trading US Dollars for oil and switch to the EU Euro and other currencies. China in addition called in $111 trillion US Dollars of debt in US Saving Bonds before the switch, which enabled them to become a super economy and trash the US economy in exchange. Other nations followed suit on the US Debt owed to them.
As a result Wallstreet the US stock market crashed, US banks closed down for the day to prevent people from withdrawing all the money from their accounts and the US government took them over nationalizing them and throwing 110 million US citizens out of their houses as a result of massive foreclosers, and the value of the US Dollar shrank to 1.736E-77 Euros one of the new trading currencies standard. All world currencies are not longer tagged to the US Dollar, but the EU Euro now. The value of the US Dollar was so low that they had to use scientific notation to figure out how much less it is worth. As a result the USA gained third world status and companies began laying off employees and moving to Europe, Russia, China, and other places were the economy is better. Leading to a record 100% USA unemployment rate.
Barrack Obama addressed Congress that the USA has to make significant changes in order to survive, the US Constitution is now null and void but we weren't really using it since George W. Bush was in office so no big change there. It is replaced with the Articles of Communism as the USA becomes the U.S.S.A. the United Soviet States of America and the new new deal WPA (Work Placement Administration) forms a Communist program to create a labor force to fix the failing infrastructure of the USSA by fixing roads, fixing water treatment centers, fixing buildings, fixing national parks, building tent cities and labor camps for those who cannot find new Communist jobs right away. Neocons and Conservatives got assigned to labor camps and other non-Liberals got assigned to tent cities, but Liberals, Communists, and Fundamentalist Muslims got the new WPA jobs, plus media and news propaganda jobs.
Barrack Obama made yet another change, the Articles of Communism is a Communist system, but under Islamic Law. This is in accordance to King Adbullah, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and other Middle-Eastern Islamic leaders Obama kept meeting with and making secret promises to end the war on terror by converting the former USA to Islamic Law, thus the Islamic Terrorists finally win. Liberals rejoice at the release of US Soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan as they join the WPA and Neocons and Conservatives have their wealth taken away and given to the proletariat and members of the Communist and Islamic parties.
“You can now call me by my real name, my Islamic name, Biraq Hussein al-Bama, Comrades. Also I am the return of the 12th Imam as promised by Allah. Thus begins the Islamic Apocalypse. We have December 21, 2012 reserved for judgment day when I meet with Jesus and Allah to decide Humankind's fate.”
Not really knowing what to say the US media and news companies went off the air, US Internet sites got wiped out and taken over by the USSA, all forms of communication got replaced by USSA propagandists of either Communists or Fundamentalist Muslims now reporting the news. The only news source the former USA citizens can trust now is Uncyclopedia as Oscar Wilde refuses to give in to the USSA and has been funding Uncyclopedia with Euros all along, so it is immune to the US economic collapse and government takeover.
“See I told you so! Now I am in a labor camp and doing a lot of work and losing weight.”
“I can't stop crying but at least now this means the Internet MEME about me raping and killing a girl in 1990 are over but replaced by Communist and Islamic propaganda on all US web sites.”
“Da, Comrades. Pass the Vodka and the Hookers, I feel like celebrating!”