UnNews:Woof! Looking at big bouncing boobs "make you brainy"
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Woof! Looking at big bouncing boobs "make you brainy"
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, February 12, 2016, 21:27:UTC)(
6 November 2007
A STUDY OF SOME BUILDERS has concluded that looking at big boobs can significantly boost a man's intelligence, and the bigger and bouncier the boob the brainier the man who looks at them can become! Men who spend more than 60% of their working day oogling boobs perform significantly better in IQ tests than those who prefer to a bit of leg. Or even thigh.
On average, oogling big boobs adds seven extra points to their IQ scores, even after allowing for different social backgrounds. Whilst intelligence was affected by appreciating the larger variety of mammary gland, those with a preference for smaller breasts (or, to use the scientific terminology, "bee stings" or "fried eggs") did not show raised IQs as a result.
This latest research involved two long-term studies following the progress of more than 3,000 builders in the UK and New Zealand. Professor Sid James, based at the Institute Of Big Boobies in London, said: "In fact, since I was a 6 year old boy I couldn't, in fact, get enough of looking at big norks. Now as you can see I am, in fact, a very brainy man."
"In short don't expect to be improving your mental faculties if your own particular penchant is for the female leg or thigh. In fact , there is some suggestion, in fact, that looking at bare female legs can, in fact, be detrimental to intelligence, in fact."
"Our findings, in fact, support the idea that the boob size preference is, in fact, proportionate to male based intelligence."
The study come just days after it was revealed by the same team that men with small penises were "in fact mostly gays or ginger."
- BOING "BOING". oi darlin, you'll 'av an eye out with one of those if yer not carefull!, November 6, 2007