UnNews:Woman who used boyfriend as weapon against infant receives absolute discharge
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Woman who used boyfriend as weapon against infant receives absolute discharge
Straight talk, from straight faces
Tuesday, June 27, 2017, 14:12:UTC)(
14 December 2007
EERIE, Transylvania (AP) - The woman who was charged last Ocober with using her boyfriend as a weapon against her infant son has received an absolute discharge from the judge presiding over her case. Clitoria Graham, 28, who has been out on bail since shortly after her arrest last year was given the discharge by Judge Ima Dyke. Graham has expressed remorse to her ex-boyfriend's family and her children for assaulting them. She admitted to being strung out on several different drugs the day of assault including PCP, Crystal Meth, and Crack. She also smoked several grams of marijuana and drank about a dozen beers. Because of her severely intoxicated state, Graham says she was unable to remember the assault.
She was quoted as saying after being taken into custody, the day of the assault, that she picked up her boyfriend by his feet and swung him around at her infant son several times because he refused to go to bed. The infant only received minor injuries in the scuffle but the boyfriend suffered serious injuries, including a fractured skull and a brain injury. He has made some recovery after the accident and has regained the ability to speak and walk although he continues to struggle with memory problems, headaches, and chronic pain. The woman's children, all boys, were also injured when she hurled them at the arresting officers although their injuries were relatively minor. They have all since recovered.
The District Attorney asked the Judge for the maximum penalty of 10 years and the Jury found the defendant guilty of all charges. Despite strong public pressures for a harsh sentence and the guilty verdict, Judge Dyke decided instead to grant Graham a full discharge. When asked by the media why she did this, Dyke responded "Can't you see that this poor woman has been through enough. Besides its not like any of the victims were women anyways. We are the real victims, we are the ones who are oppressed. Ms. Graham probably had good reason to do what she did. Whenever a woman hurts a man it is always for a good reason. That asshole had it coming to him anyways. It's too bad she didn't kill him, that would be one less potential rapist on the street". When the Judge was confronted with the fact that there are some women sex offenders she replied that "They must not be true women then. Probably some trannie, women just don't have it in them to do something like that". One reporter shouted out "That's sexist, you're nothing but a hypocrite". The judge shouted back "Silence you chauvenist pig. You don't get to decide whats sexist, I do. That's why I'm the judge".
The District Attourney is planning to appeal the verdict.