UnNews:Wisconsin receives its first ever African-American visitor
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Wisconsin receives its first ever African-American visitor
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, July 28, 2015, 20:41:UTC)(
21 February 2008
"This was truly shocking," said a Wisconsin citizen. "I mean, I've seriously NEVER seen a black dude that wasn't in a jersey before."
UnNews managed to catch up with the visitor, who turned out to be Democratic frontrunner Barack Obama. Shaking hands and smiling genially at the shocked crowd, the black man was quickly turned into state news. While visiting the state's beautiful Democratic headquarters, the Senator received a trophy and plaque and made a comment to 100,000 anxious white Wisconsin...onians.
"What...uh...what's going on?" he asked in opening, receiving wild cheers. Tears streamed down white cheeks as the black Senator made what may have been the most rousing speech of his political career, which focused on such sentimental topics as "What did I do to deserve this trophy" and "I'm sure there have been other black people here in the past that didn't play some sort of sport professionally, like businessmen or salesmen. How about janitors? Truckers? Seriously. I can't be the only one."