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26 April 2008

Police arrested the singer Amy Winehouse for taking far too long to launch into an innocent man who tried to help her. A spokesperson said that "Amy really tried her best to assault the man inside the pub, but it was really late, she was tired, blah di blah, so the incident happened outside the pub, and Amy fully admits this was wrong and is very sorry, m'lud."

Amy strongly denies other charges of assault on a night out. The night out was hospitalised, but is expected to pull through. Passers-by stated that it was an ugly scene, that Amy risked 'spoiling a good night out'.

[edit] Reaction of parents and family pet

Amy's parents , who live in North London, and have a lovely brown dog called Toby, wot once caught a brown rat and was suitably rewarded with dog meat and Winalot extra vitamin cereal, in his usual bowl, stated that : " We don't know what come over her. Normally she gets stuck in immediately wherever she goes, instead of daftly waiting to do something like this on the way home, e, ah don't know what's become of her ah don't". Toby just whined in the corner.

[edit] Sources

• The Independent