UnNews:Wikipedia report: No stupid dogs exist
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Wikipedia report: No stupid dogs exist
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, May 29, 2016, 02:06:UTC)(
1 November 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
"They are intelligent, to the point that they should not be left to their own devices, and are happiest when mentally stimulated," said the Wikipedia entry on rottweilers. "Despite this, they can also be strong willed at times, and should be taught in a firm, consistent manner."
The reports represent a major break from previous studies in animal intelligence. While mice, dolphins, chimpanzees, parrots, and to a lesser extent, humans were generally thought to be the world's smartest creatures, the hitherto untapped potential of man's best friend has sent laboratories racing to test their wits.
"Really, this was a bombshell," said Sonja Yoerg, author of Clever As a Fox: Animal Intelligence And What It Can Teach Us About Ourselves. "Harvard has already bought a number of schnauzers and placed sudoku puzzles in front of them. The dogs should be able to solve them quickly."
"Eskies are easily trained and very intelligent, as well as being strong-willed and independent," the entry says. "At home, Eskies make excellent watchdogs, barking to announce the presence of strangers."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|