Wikipedia accused of Witchcraft!
A newsstand that's brimming with issues
Tuesday, June 30, 2015, 03:43:UTC)(
31 October 2006
But today, Wikipedia became a cult.
Jimbo Wales, Ultra-ruler of Wikimedia, today converted to witchcraft, in order to help promote Wikipedia via the forces of darkness. Changing the name of Wikipedia to Wiccapedia, Jimbo (under his new name Lord GeigerMeister) proceeded to line every page with occult symbols and incantations.
Many of these incantations are directed toward Boccob, the Dungeons and Dragons god of Wizardry and knowledge, and often contain pleas for power and the death of Wales' enemies.
Boccob refused to comment at this time.
"This is a travesty," said local reverend John Winterborne, "I always thought Wikipedia was evil as dog snot, but never did I think that Jimbo--I mean, Lord GeigerMeister-- would sink this low to make his encyclopedia more popular than Uncyclopedia."
Not only that, it appears he has failed. "The numbers do not lie," commented Uncyclopedia technician Killtacular on the Uncyclopedia IRC, "Even the lord of darkness cannot stop Uncyclopedia from being on top."
Facing comments about an unfair poll regarding the above statement, Uncyclopedia urges supporters of their encyclopedia to dress up in costumes tonight and run around after dark to show their support, while Wikipedia supporters should stay home and do nothing. "Of course," said Uncyclopedia mayor Oscar Wilde, "This will make things so much easier when it comes to getting a fair poll."
Uncyclopedia also wishes everyone a happy Halloween.