UnNews:Wikia lays off 600-700

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17 December 2010

March30palace

Wikia corporate headquarters is rumored to be the object of a sale/leaseback deal.

WIKIA CITY, California -- An unprecedented malfunction at the Uncyclopedia web site has strengthened rumors that have been swirling all week, that corporate owner Wikia is laying off 600 to 700 employees just before Christmas.

Since Wednesday morning, U.S. time, the site's unique "thumbnail" illustrations have malfunctioned, causing text to stick out like a dock into a sea of unsightly white space. Aleister N. Chains, a member of the Uncyclopedia "talent" pool, said, "It is disgusting to spend time writing feature-worthy articles and then to see them rendered so poorly." Another author in the room said, off-the-record, "Yeah. Wikia is fucked up again."

Employees could get their pink slips by Tuesday, according to a person familiar with Wikia's plans. This person also asked for anonymity because he (or she) is furiously sucking up to his (or her) management (when not undercutting it with rumor-mongering), to try to ride out the cuts so as to afford presents for the family.

The Wikia "talent" pool is notorious for being outspoken, and less so for understanding the nuances of technology. "I think it's the CSS," said an unidentified female associate with shifty eyes. "But I really don't know. Ask someone who does. /hits reporter with frying pan"

The rumored severance package is two months' pay, although two months times zero doesn't go a long way these days. Wikia's creative artists also work for imitation JPG renderings of epaulettes and merit badges, and it's rumored that these may continue to be issued.

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