UnNews:Wikia City named 14th best place to live
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Wikia City named 14th best place to live
The news outlet with approval higher than Congress
Thursday, July 20, 2017, 12:50:UTC)(
17 August 2010
The study is another occasional piece of media filler, in which a scientific organization objectively rates American cities according to its own affectations. Public employee unions can testify in the legislature that, with a slight increase to the state budget, more cities could have "received a passing grade."
The author of the current study is Americans for Sensible Solutions of Reseda, California. Scientist Josh Bateman said the study tallies availability of free government services, pleasant weather, access to beaches and movie stars, and tolerance of local police to public drunkenness.
Thirty-two California cities made the Top 100 in the study. A significant factor was that Californians are entitled to the full 99 weeks of unemployment compensation under the recent federal stimulus bill. Mr. Bateman avails himself of these payments. "They canned me simply for speaking truth to power," he says. He believes it may take the full 99 weeks for his ex-employer, whom he did not name, to realize the utility of hiring him back at a salary that would make up for past abuses.
In a small apartment here, Mr. Bateman and assistants Jen and Missy ("She's just a friend") assemble e-mails to be sent to the City Rooms of America's local newspapers, advising each of their city's numerical "score" and letter "grade."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|