UnNews:Why 1950s wives gave great fellatio
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
5 March 2008
IN THE HEADY DAYS OF 1955, when a husband returned from a busy day at work it was the wife's sworn duty (under pain of a jolly good thrashing!) to have his dinner on the table, warmed slippers ready next to his armchair, his pipe cleaned and packed with the finest tobacco and to provide a relaxing blow job to help him unwind.
Alas, the days of a relaxing home-coming blow job from the missus are long gone.
In these modern times, a husband invariably returns home to find his wife sat on her posterior watching inane teatime chat shows hosted by shameless sodomites, engaged in a lesbian fling with the next door neighbour or, most depressingly, still at work herself!
Modern wives, it seems are enjoying their cake AND eating it! In a recent survey carried out by UnNews 7/10 wives expect their husband to "do the dishes" and even on occasion "iron their own sodding shirt". It is yet another example of this "broken" nation's descent into hell in a piss bucket!
"Modern" wife Mrs Fanny Penyl, whose husband stays at home whilst she works as a high class whore, disagreed with the suggestion that the findings point to a decline in modern society, "well, these days when I get home from work I fully expect MY husband to lick my tits for at least an hour!"
"He doesn't seem to mind."
Author of the survey Randolf Puxterburinessdonson reflected on his own experience, "My first wife, who died in 1961 after burning my supper, would perform her duties unquestionably. By the end of a night my cock was as dry as the Sahara!"
"Nowadays, if I ask my current wife to bend over, lift her skirt and think of England I invariably end up with a punch in the goolies!"