UnNews:White person says the N-word on radio

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14 August 2010

Laura Schlesinger

Laura Schlesinger, like Miley Cyrus, is likely to continue being a role model for Americans despite the wide distribution of photographs showing her vagina.

LOS ANGELES, California -- Dr. Laura Schlesinger, who runs a radio talk show dispensing advice on interpersonal relations, uttered the N-word eleven times during her Tuesday program.

An African American woman named Jade telephoned to complain that friends of her white husband behaved offensively around her, and even used the N-word. Dr. Laura took issue with Jade's assertion of offense, saying "Black guys say it all the time." Dr. Laura cited black comedians on HBO as examples--then repeated the N-word to her caller for effect. Dr. Laura concluded that Jade was hypersensitive.

Dr. Laura stopped recording the day's program at the end of that hour--not because the dialogue had been adversarial, but supposedly because she was struck with the wrongness of a white person using the N-word--and so often as to be unable to claim "it just slipped out." UnNews senior editors have not been able to determine what N-word she used, as every printed report on the event refers to it only as "the N-word," and it is bleeped out of every sound clip.

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She apologized at the start of her Wednesday show. "I articulated the N-word all the way out....And that was wrong. I'll say it again--That was wrong." In other words, in the middle of criticizing the racial double standard for the use of a word, she now realizes it was wrong to violate the double standard she was in the process of criticizing.

Black community leaders were unavailable for comment, because they were closeted in strategy meetings. Similar cases in the past suggest that, three days from now, minorities across the United States will spontaneously but simultaneously call for a nationwide boycott of advertisers to Dr. Laura's program. Dr. Laura will go off the air for two weeks, and will return after promising to side with the next ten black callers rather than offer them advice.

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