UnNews:White House trolled, System32 deleted

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11 September 2011

Computer nerd

Geek Captain Harold Tenebaum at the President's computer.

Washington DC, USA -- The Obama family found itself waiting on the Geek Squad to fix their computer after the commander-in-chief crashed it.

Obama was surfing the web, "nothing un-Presidential, I assure you," when all of a sudden the state-of-the-art Windows 95 powered computer affectionately nicknamed "The Beast" by the family began running much more slowly than usual. Obama's first response was to look to the wisdom of Yahoo! Answers. Desperate, he posted on the site for help, and was happy to receive an almost immediate response from a user on the site known as 'ITroll22':

"Find and delete System32. It's a virus that does nothing but slow down your computer. You should be up to speed in no time!"

The commander-in-chief followed the advice and sought out the file known as System32. When he deleted it, however, the computer "slowed way down" and it "dumped a Blue Screen of Death." Obama, confident that the user meant no harm, thanked the user in an exclusive UnNews interview shortly after the incident. The next day, the first lady called Best Buy and had them "send down a couple of geeks." The 'geeks' quickly identified the problem as a missing System32 file, which they informed the President would require the operating system to be reinstalled. Geek Captain Harold Tenebaum then went on to inform Obama that he had just been trolled, and that it would take almost 2 weeks to repair the system. The President could not be reached for comment afterwards.

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