UnNews:Whistle-blower receives 7 years and 600 lashes for insulting US Intelligence
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
1 August 2013
FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kansas -- A US Army court has sentenced a whistle-blowing military activist to seven years in prison and 600 lashes for revealing the nation's anti-constitutional war and cyber crimes, Wikileaks reported Wednesday. PFC Bradley Manning, who has been in a dank dungeon wrapped in electrified barbed wire and hanging over a pit of boiling sulfuric acid since June 2010, was found guilty by a lynch mob of his pee’ers on 17 counts of insulting US intelligence through his disclosures.
But Manning was acquitted of the most serious of the charges against him, viz., aiding and abetting the enemy, after he successfully proved that the only enemy actually against him was the USA. He certainly didn’t do America any favors, unless you count reporting government wrongdoings to the American citizens themselves as aiding the enemy.
“This incredibly harsh sentence for a cute and cuddly little whistle-blower makes a mockery of the United States’ claims that it supports transparency,” said Julian Assange, the director of Wikileaks. “A man who risked his life to disclose serious government crimes has already been locked up for years, and now he faces 600 lashes and seven more years of naked torture. Meanwhile the real wrong doers get off without even a slap on the wrist!”
Assange told CNN that he's devastated by the news. “I don't know what to do,” he said Wednesday. “Bradley did nothing wrong, unless not hiding the existence of a crime is a crime itself.”
Manning's legal troubles began shortly after he started the Brave New World website in 2008. He was detained, water boarded, and interrogated about the site. Some spooks even branded him an unbeliever in US counter-intelligence (aka ignorance), after which his fate was all but plugged.
Wikileaks had several times released statements urging US authorities to free Manning. “US authorities should drop all charges and award Bradley Manning with a Medal of Valor in recognition of his bravery – nay, his duty – in ratting out the guilty-as-sin FEDs,” a statement from the group said.
Human wrongs groups accuse US authorities of targeting whistle-blowers as well as gay protestant nuns and libertarians. Many were outraged when one of the country's most recent whistle-blowers, Edward Snowden, was declared guilty by the DOJ well in advance of even being arrested and charged.
Asked in January about accusations concerning the dystopian Anglo-American New World Order, General X, spokesperson for America’s Transparency Ministry, told CNN, “At the Transparency Ministry, our area of responsibility is making everything totally opaque, and stamping every thing we do as top secret - under the guise of national security.”
Gen. X added, “My understanding is that if some one doesn’t report a crime then they are guilty, and if they do disclose their knowledge of a crime then they are even more guilty.
- Staff Repeater "Saudi activist receives 7-year sentence, 600 lashes for insulting Islam". CNN, August 1, 2013