UnNews:When i grow 16, i want a $3 Million nuclear missile, says a "My Super Sweet 16" kid
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
When i grow 16, i want a $3 Million nuclear missile, says a "My Super Sweet 16" kid
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, May 23, 2015, 11:00 (UTC)
15 October 2006
SPOILED BRAT'S HOUSE, Somewhere in America -- People wonder, what is wrong with teenagers nowadays? Is it hormones? Is it peer pressure? Is it parents? What makes teenagers so angry and vindictive anymore? MTV has found the answer. MTV has created a show called “My Super Sweet 16,” which is a television show about 16 years olds and their ridiculously outrageous birthday party.
It’s been a while since I actually sat down and watched something on MTV. After all, there’s nothing to watch on MTV. However, a [[friend] of mine informed me about this show, and I gave it a shot. I was watching this show like watching someone being raped. I was horrified, angry, and confused. Confused you ask? Confused at why the parents would allow their child to act this way and get away with it.
The first episode I watched was a teenage girl, or diva, named Amanda who lives in Florida. Amanda is your typical snobby girl that lives in the middle of nowhere that just so happens to have a rich moron of a daddy. Amanda likes attention and sets out to get as much attention as humanly possible. Of course wait ten years from now when she has 6 kids with 6 different daddies.
Amanda always gets what she wants, even if she doesn’t deserve it. She stole $40 from her best-friend’s birthday card, she dresses like a skank to attract attention on to her, and she belittles her father. Of course if he was my daddy, I would use him for money too. After all, he paid $250,000 just for her party.
The second episode of My Super Sweet 16 I watched was another female teenager. This time the spoiled teenager’s name was Sophie, a teenage girl who needs to lay off the Twinkies for a while. Sophie is so spoiled that she literally orders her mother around, and what’s worse is her mother is stupid enough to be ordered around. There was an encounter in which little, and I use that term loosely, Sophie whines to her mother to get her breakfast. If Sophie was my daughter I wouldn’t get her breakfast, I would tell her to come downstairs and get it herself. What is so appalling is that after her idiotic mother brings up Sophie’s breakfast on a tray, Sophie eats more food, gains another 35 pounds, and then looks at her mom and says, “what do I do with it now?” If I was her mother, I would have put her in military school for that comment. Sophie is either incredibly stupid, or too spoiled for her own good.
Finally, I watched another episode of My Super Sweet 16. Yet another female teenager who is so spoiled that you could make penicillin out of her. A teenage girl named Jazmin. Jazmin is an orphan who just so happened to be at the right place and the right time when her parents adopted her. Of course if she was my daughter, I would have given her up for adoption too. Jazmin is the usual boring snobby rich kid who wants attention, craves money, and insults everyone.
One of her friends annoys her for trying on dresses that she gathers more attention than Jazmin. GASP! Someone is not paying attention to Jazmin? BLOOD SHALL FLOW FOR THIS! So, what does Miss Jazmin do? She ignores her and breaks off their friendship. WHAT?! Wow. Jazmin is going to be awfully lonely by the time she’s 21 if she keeps this act up.
I did laugh when a husky woman was on stage with Jazmin dancing. Of course Jazmin was irritated at this and ordered every “loser” to get off the stage. Funny how security wasn’t doing their jobs, because Jazmin would have been taking off the stage if “losers” weren’t allowed.
So, you wonder what is wrong with teenagers nowadays? Simple. They have ignorant parents who let their children do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and actually take orders from them as if they were the messiah.
I hate to break it to these teenagers on this show. You’re not going to make it in life. If you can’t handle not having attention, not lifting a finger, or having obese people in your presence, then you might as well lock yourself in your gold trimmed closet and hope you never have to come out, because the real world doesn’t care about you only what you can do for the real world.
It’s tragic to see people in New Orleans, a city that I love dearly, be swept away only to leave good, hard working people without a home to go to, and then you see 16 year olds who have everything handed to them and they believe their lives are just awful. I’d like to see Amanda or Jazmin go to New Orleans for a couple of days without food, water, or a home, they wouldn’t make it. Survival is not their style, only short skirts and limo’s.
Why did I write this article? To inform those same spoiled teenagers that karma is a terrible thing to screw over. By the time you’re in your 40's, you’ll be an alcoholic, a whore, a skank, and alone.
To say that Jazmin, Sophie, and Amanda are sweet is false. However, saying they are Philistines is 100% true. Let’s see how long it takes them to figure out what a Philistine is, shall we? I give them 2 years.
- American Chronicle "We need more rich girls to reproduce, says Nobel prize winner". [[wikipedia:|]], October 15,2006