UnNews:West discloses Benghazi "truth"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
West discloses Benghazi "truth"

Fake News that's honestly fake

UnNews Logo Potato
Tuesday, August 15, 2017, 08:46:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

26 May 2014

Hillarystache

The mystery informant could not have been Mrs. Clinton, as Mr. West insists his seat-mate's mustache seemed not to be a paste-on.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Defeated Republican Congressman — and successful blogger — Allen West of Florida asserted that he knows the truth of the scandal that has come to be known as Benghazi-gate.

Mr. West's secret source is a government operative who, through fate or luck, happened to be occupying the adjacent seat in an ordinary airline flight out of Detroit. In a blog post on Friday, Mr. West credited God for placing a government informant next to him on his commercial flight from Detroit Metro/Wayne County Airport (DTW).

Mr. West said his seat-mate established his bona fides by drawing maps and a schematic of the Benghazi consulate, and further by winning two out of three games of "Hangman" against Mr. West on the same paper place mat. Thus showing his credentials, he explained that U.S. troops were ordered to do nothing, in a voice that, though shrill and high-pitched, remains a mystery.

Mr. West learned from the mystery source something that the rest of the nation has known for two years: That assassinated Ambassador Stevens requested reinforcements, but was denied. Ah! but by whom? That, says Mr. West, is "the truth that 'they' don't want you to know." He says that those in the know have been threatened with pension cuts if they come forward.

Mr. West says that President Obama will have to testify personally to the committee investigating Benghazi in the Republican-controlled House of Reprehensibles, or else he will be "waist-deep in the cover-up," which did not stop him from handily thrashing Mitt Romney in 2012. It is not clear whether Mr. West himself will testify at those hearings about his mystery seat-mate on that commercial flight and the secrets he alone discovered.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects