UnNews:Welsh angry over karaoke defeat
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||We distort, you deride|
17 December 2007
The Welsh are complaining again, and this time it’s the viewers of the UK’s biggest karaoke competition the X-Factor. Viewers who claim they could not phone in to vote for eventual runner-up Rhydian Roberts are demanding a recount. The Story: The Welsh one didn’t win, let’s demand a public enquiry.
Some radio stations in Rhydian's native Wales said they would boycott the winner's single and demanded a recount because the song won’t be Welsh (or sung in Welsh). Swansea Bay Radio, Radio Carmarthenshire and Sheepshagger FM said they would ban Leon's Christmas single over the voting. Even BBC Radio One is banned in Rhydian’s hometown of Sennybridge, Powys, where songs were deemed rubbish after Charlotte Church was knocked off of their top ten.
Gwyneth Greenslade, a viewer from Llandrindod Wells, Powys, told the BBC News website she had phoned 8705 times and could not get through. Her two friends also tried 785 and 176 times respectively - and they too failed to register a vote. “I was very cross, the UK must be Welshophobic” said Mrs Greenslade.
Scotland's Leon Jackson won the ITV1 show, beating Rhydian, who had been the 1/3 favourite. However, UnNews can exclusively expose CCTV footage of Leon’s mother, Mrs Jackson sneaking backstage and discretely cutting selected phone lines connected to phonelines. It was also revealed that Leon’s mentor Dannii Minogue had been running an election campaign in Australia for the entire week where thousands of Aussies and Scottish ex-pats had been ordered to phone a number sent through every mailbox. John from Sydney said “This number with Dannii Minogue’s face popped into my mail two days ago and it said ‘phone this number, say Leon and you will have great sex forever’. What else was I going to do?! ”
In his defence, Leon had one message to all the winging Welshmen out there: “F**k off! There’s almost twice as many Scots as Welsh so why do you think Ryan (or whatever his name is) would win this popularity contest? If my fellow Scots hadn’t been pissed as usual in the pub then they might have been able to pick up their phones (dropped down the U-bend) and I would have won even more convincingly…”