UnNews:Washington lauds valiant Syrian terrorists
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Washington lauds valiant Syrian terrorists
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, June 27, 2017, 00:35:UTC)(
19 July 2012
WASHINGTON D.C. -- Washington was in a festive mood as a result of the successful terrorist bombing which killed a number of Syrian officials in Damascus yesterday. The Obama White House lauded the attack as a great victory toward the spread of Plutocratic collectivism around the world. For Obama and his battle-axe, Hillary, Wednesday’s deadly bombing was met with a kind of childish glee that has not been witnessed since Mossad agents were questioned (and released) after openly filming and celebrating the 9/11 attacks in New York.
According to Reuters, the White House says that although terrorism directed at America and her allies is cowardly and despicable, yet the very same violence and worse when carried out by agents of the United States and NATO in Syria and elsewhere is not only brave, it is down right spiritual. Both Obama and Clinton referred to terrorists who carried out the attack in Syria as “blessed Martyrs.” They concurred that the attack on Assad’s inner circle proves that “God is GREAT!” And both stressed that the international community needs to be unified in ”praising good acts of terrorism.”
U.S. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta praised the attack as a gallant and holy act that’s likely to exert even more pressure on Assad to surrender. “This is righteous terrorism,” assured Panetta. “When the terrorists are on the side of the United States and NATO its just great!” Panetta also praised elitist war-monger, Hillary, who preached that heroic acts of terrorism in pursuit of the United Nation’s dystopian Agenda 21 are, in fact, honorable military operations.
Following this latest terrorist attack US Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, reacted with undisguised joy. In a tweet the warlordess praised the bombing as a reminder that even such a horrible thing as terrorism can be turned in our favor, and thus it becomes glorious. Rice also tweeted, “May the profit be praised! Long live our martyrs!”
In a separate press conference Rice told the main-stream propaganda presstitutes that the longer Assad clings to power, the greater is the risk to our martyrs. “Such successful bombings serve to remind us of the urgent need to train and equip more brave terrorists, quickly, before Russia and China declare their own War On Terror unlawfully directed at the United States,” she added.