|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
18 December 2012
TOKYO, Japan --
A sensational news story in Japan alleges Apple founder/Messiah Steve Jobs may have been killed by North Korean agents unconsciously working for South Korea. The story has appeared claiming North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il ordered the death of Steve Jobs when his MacBook failed to boot up in time to watch one of his country's rockets [[hit the sea. So angry was Jong-il that he asked if there was anyway to 'hit back'.
The story emerged this week in Hokkadio Hentai World-News after Kim Jong-il's tomb was officially opened to the media and the North Korean Communist Party. Jong-il, who died in December 2011, was shown to be the proud owner of a customised Macbook which sits on a table near the dead leader. Now Hokkadio Hentai World-News says what really happened was that the Samsung supporting South Korean government had secretly helped Jong-il's assassins to kill Jobs in October 2011. They did this by supplying details of all of Jobs's special food requirements to an intermediary, who then passed this information on to the North Korean government, who then poisoned him with radioactive green tea.
Brian Gullible from the website Green ink said he had seen all the details of the plot and says it was 'amazing'.
"Yep...it's amazing [We already told you he said that]. A mad despot orders the death of America's most iconic Macman and yet all the important information about how to do it is supplied by South Korea. The North Koreans had already tried to use their own software 구두[가죽 제품] 수선공(▷ 현재는 보통 (Paranoid in English) but had been forced to use Apple's own software to run this laptop. The reason why the North Koreans chose a Mac to work on is, as everyone knows, Microsoft have given the encryption keys to the CIA for all their operating system."
Jong-il's triumph was short lived as he was dead within a couple of months. His own death was something of a mystery too, with some bloggers suggesting that it was caused by the North Koreans receiving the STUXNET computer virus which disabled all of the late dictator's strings.
- Staff "North and South Koreans united against one enemy for a change:Apple". Hokkadio Hentai World-News, December 18, 2012