UnNews:Warren Rupf resigns in shame
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Warren Rupf resigns in shame
Where man always bites dog
Monday, May 29, 2017, 15:03:UTC)(
26 September 2009
Contra Costa County, California - As expected, Warren Rupf, the man who couldn't find the kidnappers of a little girl no matter how often his men visited the sex offender who kept them in his yard, has resigned. When asked if it was in response to the controversy surrounding his incompetence and his most recent award by NAMBLA, he indirectly confirmed, by mentioning that he had wanted to wait until the fervor died down before skulking away.
Glaringly not spoken of was what exactly had the Sheriff meant earlier when he boldly claimed he was going to take "full responsibility" for the decades long sexual torture of three girls. His office has yet to release any response, either to the article that outed him, or to citizen inquiries.
Many citizens, apparently foolish enough to believe the word of a man who is at once both a politician and a cop, were expecting that Warren Rupf would fire those involved in the bungling that caused so much pain. And in a county where budgetary deficits have every office reeling and services being trimmed, it was thought that Warren Rupf would probably forego his retirement pay, or at least donate it to the victims of his incompetence.
As it happens, though, there have been no officers, agents, deputies or staff fired. At all. Nor wrote up. Nor counseled. A remedial lesson in "How To Be A Gooder Policeman" which was going to cover such burning issues as "Do you need a search warrant to look in a convicted sex offender and parolee's back yard?" was not scheduled. Nor any class or advisory letter reminding deputies that when neighbors complain about a felon on parole raising "sex slaves" in his back yard, that actually then looking in the back yard can be helpful.
Apparently it was as the previous UnNews article said, and by "full responsibility" the Sheriff meant "no responsibility". He now prepares to slip off into retirement and draw pay for sitting on his ass all day. Which from what his career has been like, will present no change in his lifestyle whatsoever.