UnNews:Warrant issued for Mike Tyson's arrest
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Warrant issued for Mike Tyson's arrest
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, January 20, 2017, 14:08:UTC)(
28 November 2013
NEW YORK CITY -- The NYPD have just issued a warrant for the arrest of former boxer and current pigeon-hoarder Mike Tyson for his alleged role in forming the infamous New York City “Knockout Game” gang, a gang which hits unsuspecting citizens in the back of the head rendering them unconscious. The NYPD believes Mike Tyson has a group of specially trained Pigeons that can poop on command, which Tyson and the gang use to "mark" potential victims. NYPD Police Chief Evander Holyfield (a former boxer himself) has urged citizens not to confront Tyson due to “A mean left hook and potential to bite” but to instead call the NYPD with any possible information on the former fighter's whereabouts.