UnNews:Warney goes gaga
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10 August 2009
Edgbaston, Birmingham, England -- Shane Warne, blew his botox impaired top this morning in a furious brawl with Sky Sports legendary, eagle eyed, Red Indian scout, Hawk-Eye.
"Crikey Bumble," stormed the right handed ex legend. "Koertzen's got it wrong again, Bell should have been out." When Hawk-Eye showed that the ex South African railway worker had actually umpired the correct decision, the ex Accrington spinner went gaga.
"Blimey mate, Hawk-Eye's crook. I've played more cricket than any Sioux warrior and I'm telling you Bell was out."
After five minutes of mumbling and twitching, Warne suddenly leapt from his seat and ran for the door.
"Right," he asserted turning back to Bumble with a manic expression on his otherwise well managed and unwrinkled forehead, "It's either him or me!" He grabbed Bumble's treasured cricket bat, signed by Jordan, and the Pope, and raced out of the door.
The Victorian Virgoan then sped to the computer room where Hawk-Eye is based and on seeing no one in, shouted, "Come on you coward, where are you?" After some moments silence, the frustrated bleach toothed hard man began to smash the place up with the cricket bat while screaming through his now tear and sweat stained face, "It was out. I used to be a legend. It was out!!!"
Hawk-Eye, who first got the Sky job in 2001 in the less controversial Pakistan series, has not reappeared since. Sky sources hint that he may not return until the craftily nicknamed Warney is safely back in Australia.
The Baggy Green Warne's propriety has been questioned by none other than the infamous Crosby poet Roger Van Gogh. "Wanker," argued keen spinner Van Gogh. "Hawkeye would have proper belted him if he'd been there." The bespectacled self styled 'Father of Wisden' then sang a few choruses of 'Barmy Army' before his late night self rub and cocoa.
Lord Terry Botham is in his 55th year.
Latest Ashes odds
* Ricky's flour bandits 14-1 * Pope Benny 23-1 * Poms 300-1