UnNews:War of the Wizards in Spain

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War of the Wizards in Spain

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

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Friday, November 17, 2017, 13:37:59 (UTC)

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31 October 2017

CarlesPuigdemont1

Charlie Potter: Making a total horcrux of everything.

BARCELONA, Spain -- Catalonia's lead wizard Carles 'Charlie Potter' Puigdemont has fled Spain after losing his willy wand fight with the Forces of Evil. Blaming his lack of spells like 'Instant International recognition' and 'Quick Entry into the European Union' to work, Puigdemont slipped across to France dressed as a muggle. He was last seen in Brussels trying to get the European Ministry of Magical Thinking to recognise an independent Catalonia. He was out of luck. The ministry were out to a long lunch.

MarianoRajoy1

Lord Mariano Voldemort: Potter, you're dead!

For those who had expected more of a fight were surprised when Puigdemont failed to turn up for work, despite sending a photo of him apparently in his office mixing new magic spells. Puigdemont's run-away tactics left his allies in Catalonia to face the full might of Lord Mariano Rajoy-Voldemort arriving with his imps on the high speed evil train from Madrid. The evil one insisted Catalonia's declaration of independence was 'illegal' and an insult to the Spanish Royal Family. He has vowed to root out the 'Potties' and make sure this rebellion doesn't happen again.

This is not the end, said Charlie. I will return. My allies, Hermione Nicola Sturgeon and Theo Francken Weasel will stand by me. We just need some new magic to reclaim my country.


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