UnNews:Walkers warned of "killer ticks"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
13 May 2007
Walkers around the UK have been warned they may be at risk from ticks, and various potentially life-threatening diseases associated with them. Curiously, wheelchair users appear to be unaffected. Cases of depression, schitzophrenia and stuttering have been on the rise and many experts believe that loudly ticking clocks and wrist-watches may be to blame. Two thousand years ago the Mental Health Foundation recorded no cases of mental illness in the whole of the United Kingdom, while by last year this figure had risen to an astonishing 800,000. Over the same period numbers of ticking clocks have increased dramatically across the world. See graph. The official advice being given on how to reduce the risk of infection is to wear insect repellant and long trousers tucked into your socks. God knows why.
- BBC "Warning as tick diseases on rise". [[wikipedia:|]], May 10, 2007