UnNews:Vodafone joins front lines
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Vodafone joins front lines
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 1, 2016, 06:21:UTC)(
13 November 2006
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LONDON, England -- Vodafone signs treaty with British Telecom to join the Broadband War.
The Broadband War, currently raging in the United Kingdom has been turned upside down. The force that is currently leading the conflict is TalkTalk, who finally won favour from BT in May. Needing help, BT appealed for soldiers to join them, to fight under the same name.
Vodafone, after appealing to join the War for quite some time, was granted access today, after signing a treaty with British Telecom.
By the end of the month 25,000 Vodafone soldiers will have joined the forces of BT, and a further 25,000 men will join every month until the war is over. These troops should be mobile and fighting by Jan. 8 2007.
Vodafone soldiers are also trained in technical support, providing round the clock, on-site technical help.
Unlike the rest of the forces currently fighting, Vodafone are the only force that has been hired as mercenaries, opting to join another force rather than to create their own.
“We decided to join another force and use their equipment,” stated Sir John Bond, General of Vodafone “we have total faith that British Telecom will be the victors in this bloody battle.”
Vodafone will also bring a new weapon type to the war, landmine-to-landmine decoders. These decoders have the ability to diffuse landmines within a 2-mile radius, or to set them off when commanded.
Hopefully with this increased support, BT and Vodafone will be able to defeat the other Broadband forces.