UnNews:Vladimir Putin showing off his supreme hotness in Siberia
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Vladimir Putin showing off his supreme hotness in Siberia
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, September 2, 2015, 13:24:UTC)(
23 August 2007
Siberia, Russia. Today, the supreme 54 year old
dictator great president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, has shown off his supreme hotness to impress the entire Russian population while fishing in Siberia. Putin, as well as his gay lover, Prince Albert II of Monaco, has been seen in the Siberian Mountain enjoying random shit. While vacationing, he judo-flipped a brown bear and ate the flesh out of it. In addition, Putin skied down the slopes of the mountains while being chased by grues. He also caught a giant 200 lb. tuna and is planning to eat it all by himself give the fish to the orphans roaming in Moscow. Other activities Putin include driving a monster truck, breaking down a train, destroying a battleship with a hoagie sandwich, and blowing up your house with a jet fighter.
According to the Russian Consitution, Putin is supposed to step down from presidency in 2008. To his celebrate his hotness (as well as increased approval rating), people in Russia held a parade of marching soldiers, tanks, and convoys of corpses in the Red Rectangle. However, the people of Russia decided to make Putin president forever even. In fact, a rap song is going under production dedicating to his hotness. The song is expected to be named as: "Putin is a man of strength." Chicks were posting blogs and messages in forums commenting his Putin's "vigorous 'kick ass' torso." Apparently, his hotness also attracted some wrong crowds as well if you know what I mean. For some reason, these wrong crowds still want to stay inside of the closet because of some rough couple of nights.
The Russian cinema are now filming a new movie based of Putin's hotness. The movie is expected to be titled "Brokeback Putin." The film will star Jake Gyllenhaal, Mel Gibson, Rosie O'Donnell, some hobo, Oscar Wilde, and Richard Gere.
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