UnNews:Vladimir Putin is "so gay," says President Bush
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Vladimir Putin is "so gay," says President Bush
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, September 28, 2016, 21:47:UTC)(
19 December 2007
Bush later condemned Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for his nuclear program.
|“||More like "Mahmoud Ahmadicknejad." Am I right? You know? ... "Mahmoud Ahmabigdickbag." "Ahmadouchebagad." "Ahma..." "Ahma..." Hold on...||”|
"Look, bitch," Putin responded in his own conference two hours later, "I don't give a shit what you think, okay? If Iran wants to buy some stuff off of me, then Iran can buy some stuff off of me. That's how Putin rolls, man. You don't like it, you just fuckin' deal with it."
Putin then took a last swig of a vodka bottle in a paper bag, threw it at the floor, and walked out of the conference room.
Bush issued a rebuttal statement within minutes:
|“||Listen, you vag, I can kick your pussy ass anytime, anywhere, so you give me some fuckin' respect. What I say goes, or else I might have to introduce you to my homies D-Chain and Leezza.||”|
Putin then boarded the first plane departing Sheremetyevo International Airport, headed for London Heathrow Airport and destined for Washington Dulles International Airport. From the cabin, he released a wire to the Associated Press stating, in part:
|“||Bitch, if that's what you want, that's what you get. I know where you live, motherfucker, so you best run and hide 'fore I beat your bitch-ass into the National Mall.||”|
|“||I support the ongoing battle between the homosexuals Bush and Putin, and wish them best of luck. In unrelated story, I will be requiring coordinates of scheduled battle site and thirty minutes alone with this metal hull; please provide them to me approximately 2 hours 32 minutes before fight is scheduled so that I may ensure prompt delivery of my supporting gift.||”|