UnNews:Virginia Tech gunman was "Probably Muslim" say authorities
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Virginia Tech gunman was "Probably Muslim" say authorities
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, February 11, 2016, 22:12:UTC)(
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18 April 2007
VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, Virginia - After an event that shook nations globally, today sources have revealed that the killer, Cho Seung-Hui, a South Korean resident alien now believed to be responsible for the deaths of over 30 students (and one old guy) was, despite being from the Far East, in fact probably a Muslim.
Some unofficial sources to UnNews have suggested the Government is currently searching for a link between the killer and Iran and stating that America is quite prepared to go to war with Iran if this is indeed proven, or proven to be remotely plausible in some demented dystopian alternate reality.
Al Qaeida have also been suggested as a potential sponsor of Cho as a terrorist cell with some claiming that the student had received training from the same CIA camp that Bin Laden attended. With even George Bush displaying shock at the mass-killing, he was quick to announce that an independent investigation would be launched to examine the possibility of foreign organized terrorism being involved in the incident.
Currently, Ahmedinejad, the President of Iran has denied any involvement whatsoever, but accusations from prominent US envoys have put pressure on Iran to release a formal statement to prove their innocence within the global political community.
- Jimi Hendrix "What's with all these Muslims?". Atlantic Monthly, April 19, 2007
- Debbie Schlussel, pundit, nutjob "VA Tech shooter might be a "Paki," part of "terrorist attack"". teh internets, April, 2007