UnNews:Vatican reponds to Alberti controversy, with Concert!
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Vatican reponds to Alberti controversy, with Concert!
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, June 29, 2017, 14:13:UTC)(
1 May 2007
Emo and Metal/Choiral concerts to be held in order to improve Pope-Emo Relations
VATICAN, EARTH The controversy surrounding hit film, the Leon Battista Alberti Code, has been heard, seen and felt wround the world. The response from Pope Benedict Ratzinger Jr, mentioned as a nazi emo killer in the story, has been awaited by critics of the film for almost 6 days. The pope denied all claims that he over threw Hitler and, crucially, that he wasn't opposed to emo scum. Everyone else is, but he is such a nice guy. The pope went on to say that he listens to as much My Chemical Romance as he does Trivium, and said that the darkness of his eyes was emo makeup. Not wanting to alienate catholic goths and nu-ravers, he reminded that all music forms are embraced by the church except MOBO, and that chavs are nigh on as bad as The Prophet Mohammed. The concert aims to amend the schism caused by the War on Emo that has separated the Emos and Metalhead choirboys. Werard Gay issued the following statement:
“The Church abandoned me, as did the bourgeois society we live in, because I kissed my brother. And Hitler was a great guy, look at his hair!”