UnNews:Utah bans marriages based on love
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Utah bans marriages based on love
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Sunday, February 25, 2018, 11:45:UTC)(
12 February 2011
The move, met with 100% approval of the Utah state Senate and 100% disapproval from everyone else, has proved divisive within and outside the state of Utah. The new law, The "Miserable Biblical couples act" only validates marriages if the couple in question are either forced to marry due to an unwanted child (also known as "Shotgun Marriages"), pressured into marrying by family members, or because both parties wanted to shut their parents up about finding a nice boy/girl. The bill also bans divorce, making sure couples stay miserable.
Senator F. King O'Hole (R-UT) justified the bill by saying that "Nowhere in the Bible does it say that one man and one woman should be in any way, shape or form happy in their married lives. In fact, most marriages are forced marriages where neither party has control over whom they are forced to marry. That is true, traditional marriage. This bill kills off fake, non-traditional happy marriages once and for all.
Mr O'Hole goes on to say, "I have been in an unhappy marriage since the age of 10, it never did me any harm...physically."
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|