UnNews:Urgent call on UN to stop 'alien invasion'
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Urgent call on UN to stop 'alien invasion'
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, March 23, 2017, 22:24:UTC)(
19 September 2010
UNITED NATION, New York -- Leading experts on extra-terrestrial invasive species are demanding military intervention be put in place by next year to tackle the threat to human and animal life on Earth.
The researchers want urgent action from the United Nations to protect Earth's indigenous species from possible "alien invaders".
Invasive, non-native alien organisms threaten to cause at least 12 Nillion Euros of damage in Earth (Note: The Nillion, a number invented by late, great General William Westmoreland, is the number one followed by a nillion zeros).
The scientists held their urgent meeting at the Neobiota conference in Copenhagen. They are demanding Earth-wide legislation to be in place by next year to ensure the threat doesn't materialize.
Invasive species are defined as alien species accidentally or deliberately invading into a place where they are not normally found, viz., the Earth, in this instance.
A small Earthan invasion alien scout party in 2008 was found to be documenting the different living species on Earth, especially those that could possibly mount any type of defense.
And alien scout party visits to the Earth are on the rise. Research published this year in the journal Science found alien species visits to the Earth have increased by 76% in the last 3 years alone.
Piero Genovesi is chair of the Invasive Species Specialist Group (ISSG), a global network of experts on invasive species. He told BBC News that the figure of 12 Nillion Euros represents a significant underestimate of the impact of alien species invasion.
"For alien species we have no idea what damage they can cause or their economic impact. This is just a fraction of the actual cost," he told BBC News.
Scientists gathered at the conference are calling for urgent action by the UN to implement a defense similar to but opposite of the proposed “star wars” missile defense system proposed by late President Ronald Regan, the very suggestion of which ended the Cold War.
"We're asking the UN to rapidly develop and deploy and Earth-based star wars missile shield against any alien invasive species, fulfilling the formal commitment agreed by the council of Earthan ministers in June 2009," Mr. Genovesi told BBC News.
"This is urgent, we would like this to be in place by next year." he continued. "We should not be aiming our rockets at each other, we should all aim straight up, toward space. That's were the real threat comes from!"
Wolfgang Nentwig, from the Institute of Ecology and Evolution in Switzerland has just published one of the first detailed studies of the impact of alien’s on Earth. And it concludes that the answer depends entirely on the hostile or otherwise intentions of the invading aliens.
Studies like his and new legislation will, scientists hope, lead to better targeting and defenses against any alien species invading Earth any time in the near future.
- Pamela Rutherford "Urgent call on EU to stop billion-euro 'alien invasion'". BBC News, September 19, 2010