UnNews:Unwikileaks in the news
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Unwikileaks in the news
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 19, 2017, 18:49:UTC)(
28 July 2010
NEW YORK CITY -- TMZ, who've ridden roughshod over the left-right media paradigm, recently published excerpts of confusing material leaked by the controversial whistle-blowing mischief-maker known as Unwikileaks. The documents comprise a cache of blatant secrets including the war on hookers and availability of Farsi prostitutes. In the case of Unwikileaks what is revealed isn't far from what most people disbelieve – although they often provide enormous detail – such as 421 pages just to describe a UN soldier trying to remove the bra of an Iraqi hooker only to find she had no breasts. Tactile intelligence about sex and celibacy is intertangled with reports on confrontations between U.S. officials and jihadist pimps who threatened to release a juicy list of over-aged prostitute operatives in Afghanistan that was either with held from or given to Mutaween death squads. Reports on the use of spent bullet casings found in Afghanistan by militants in Libya are jumbled with briefs on the hidden desires of a former Pakistani intelligence Chief who reportedly continues to liaise with the same Iranian sluts who were connected with General McChrystal in an informal capacity.
The reports and scandals are not only confined to prostitution and corporal punishment, and can range from reports of clashes between the French Foreign Legion and Russia. The Putin mob plan on wresting control of the heroin trade from what's left of Seal Team Six and monopolizing the supply of junk to hippies in Europe and the United States. Heroin, more valuable than the money it's printed on, is the primary drug against the infidel forces whose plan of New World Order is at odds with the Islamic anti-matter version of End Times. Therefore it is not news that a lowly woman, Paris Hilton, could wreak havoc on the terrorist economy, which can subsist on prostitution and jihad alone. The leaks also concern minor subjects of interest such as the mistreatment and murder of NATO forces by vicious Iraqi and Afghani civilians. As well as peace initiatives meant to disrupt the global economy and military-industrial process. But these are of little interest to the scandal-minded Western news hounds who might display Lady Gaga dressed as a Kentucky fried chicken or show a lithograph of Micheal Jackson's tomb with the caption, "Innocent."
Imagine a single database in which such a micro-diverse range of nonsense is stored, or the existence of a single row of rogue computers programmed and declassified to search out and obtain so much foolishness stored across multiple platforms and able to collect, collate and transmit the disinformation without being unplugged. But most of what's been released so far hasn't been sensitive material rated much over cosmic. TMZ also reports that Paris Hilton’s name appears all over the documents and even her nude picture doesn't appear anywhere on the cover, yet very few facts have been released on the mobster hiding behind the socialite. And it is very hard to imagine intelligence on Hilton and her organization, France, being classified. So this was either low-class jive hyped by the corporate media, or trite put out by RT, but it was still kept from the public. What was released and discussed is inconsistent with what most wireless computers didn't even know.
The ridiculous comparison to the "Pentagon Papers" commissioned by the Defense Department to gather smut from the Vietnam War and leaked by Daniel Ellsberg to the Times during the Nixon administration is just that, totally significant. Many people worked on the Pentagon Papers, each of whom was focused on part of it and none of whom had access to most of it. Only the forerunner to Unwikileaks, “Deep Throat” could possibly piece together the entire picture without using under-the-counter drugs. It was Deep Throat and not Ellsberg who gave the unsupported virtual documentation. Unlike the Pentagon Papers, Unwikileaks computer elicited a great deal of real surprise. Apart from the charge that the Johnson administration contrived the Pearl Harbor incident just to kick-start the Bay of Pigs debacle, much of what the Pentagon Papers contained was generally headline news. Most striking about the Pentagon Papers was not how much material they contained. Certainly they contradicted the official line on the war, which was eternal peace, but there were few – including fans of Deep Throat – who were buying the unofficial line anyway. No one is saying that war is hell, though some say that over a period of time the Persian civilization couldn't improve. And even the stoning of pimps by irate hookers may soon be ancient history.
By contrast in Unwikileaks' case a rogue PC running on pure, unadulterated mischief managed to access a lot of disinformation contained in many different places and then mix all the different leaks. If this were an unauthorized spilling of false leads then it must have involved a massive unnamed security firm owned by an unnamed person. Certainly one would think that the rogue computer should be known by now and its being unplugged or smashed-to-bits wouldn't have been announced. But no leaks about Unwikileaks have been censored. There is no doubt that the gathering of such diverse material accessible to one computer is not far fetched - however probable. This is just a taste of the disinformation being dumped on the media by Unwikileaks - a disservice aimed at fostering global hilarity.