UnNews:Union initiates tube strike, lack of differences irreconcilable

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Union initiates tube strike, lack of differences irreconcilable

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9 January 2017


"The next time I hear 'mind the gap', somebody is going to fricking die."

LONDON -- Striking tube workers today have brought travel chaos to the capital, as London Underground bosses immediately agreed to Union demands to create hundreds more jobs and boost driver salaries of up to £45,000, for having to pull a couple of levers every four minutes and tick a “strike” box on a ballot paper every three months or so.

The industrial action, coordinated by the Rail, Maritime and Transport (RMT) Union, closed the vast majority of underground lines today, when rail bosses offered no resistance to meeting their demands for an increase in staffing, to ease what little pressure there was on staff already.

RMT Union representative, Shatabdi Express said: “Agreeing with a Union’s demands before any strike action had been carried out, let alone mooted, is a very underhanded move by the rail bosses.

“This action could undermine the whole existence of the RMT and of course other unnecessarily antagonistic Unions that we refuse to recognise or affiliate with.” The flying Scotsman continued: “The RMT find this approach totally unacceptable and have called a tube strike to protect our interests, and the interests of the employees we support.”

The representative went on to state that they are prepared to prolong the workers strike, until such time that rail bosses return to the negotiating table, to work on finding an opposing position which would make it almost impossible to reach any agreement, so they can demand a worker’s strike before reaching an agreement.

At Clapham Junction, the busiest train station in London, a state of emergency has been declared after the "worst crowding" in years, amid the citywide strike. The Red Cross is hastily converting ambulances into mobile Costa Coffees and Pret a Mangers and topping up on chocolate chip muffins, in order to sustain as many commuters as possible on the underground.

An announcer on platform 2 commented on the rising crisis: “Do to hike traction… the aim at platen for… is or moosehead lonley… crawling at Valhalla…man…balloon…balloon north and October. We polarize pore the convenience oars.”

Sadiq Khan was also caught up in the melee and was late for a scheduled interview. The London Mayor expressed concern that it was going to be every Line Manager for himself when the Red Cross arrives: “Some of these poor Personal Assistants are in a desperate state,” he said to reporters, “they have not drunk a café latte with a granola bar for almost an hour.”

At 7am, 10 of the tube’s 11 lines were shut, with only a handful of trains running a shuttle service on the Bakerloo line between Queen’s Park and Harrow and Wealdstone. By 8am, eight of the 11 lines were running “limited” services. LU said it will open 60 per cent of its 260 stations and nine lines, provided numbers of staff are slashed to a level that leaves the system on the verge of collapse before the weekend.

The RMT went on to defend their position further: “Our members are out having pints of beer in force across LU regions this morning, in the fight for not losing their jobs and maintaining safety, reducing LU to a sufficiently-staffed transport system at a time of heightened security. We consider this walkout vital to public safety and well being.”

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