Uncyclopedia writers strike enters fourteenth week

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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27 January 2008

Unnews writer thinking

One steadfast writer has been manning the helm, composing all UnNews content, citing various sockpuppet-users as authors. At this point, he's running out of ideas.

UNMEDIA, UNNThe Uncyclopedia writers strike continues into its 14th week today, leaving further doubt and question as to the future viability of the Internet web site, and raising the hopes of Wikipedia’s resident Wikipedophiles that their five-year torment could soon be well on its way out of business.

One of the striking writers, who prefers to remain anonymous said that the latest breakdown in communication originated when Zombiebaron unleashed his scab collection on the negotiating table. Other witnesses verified this claim, adding that “not only were the scabs old and crusty,” but that there was an “implied threat of a booger collection” also being tossed onto the table as well.

Administrators for Uncyclopedia are doing their darndest to keep the web site afloat by hanging out in the IRC chat room and complaining about the Bots that are now running amuck on the site, depositing half-hearted attempts at articles just to keep the site looking springtime fresh.

Marshall Law was declared in the web site’s VFH section, however the espirt de corps was temporary and is now reported flaking off as fast as the dead skin cells on Mitt Romney’s head.

Hardest hit is Uncyclopedia’s VFP area which has become a moribund place where new images are rare, and snide comments about them from the usual bunch of suspects even rarer. Image masters went out on sympathy strike two weeks following the writers claiming that they were being coerced into contributing written words in the form of captions. The whereabouts of Modusoperandi, the only sane one that haunts those hallowed halls is unknown as he has been missing for weeks, last seen hiding out in the Russian Tea Room in New York City trading barbs with Fran Lebowitz, David Sedaris and Nipsy Russell.

“They can fix their own God-damned pixels as far as I am concerned,” said one creator who was wearing his underpants up around his ears while on the picket line.

All of this is music to Dumbo Wales ears who was too busy laughing hysterically while pushing pins into a Voodoo doll shaped like Sophia Loren and screaming “out damned Italian sex symbol. Out! Hell is murky I say…”

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