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27 November 2012
Washington, D.C. -- Head of the Library of Congress Fredson Gillepsie announced today that the Wikipedia parody website Uncyclopedia was officially selected for preservation in the Library's new Internet Archives. So far, only a small number of important web sites have had the honor of being selected for so prestigious a selection, but Uncyclopedia is the first website added due to its negative impact on the Internet, Gillepsie says.
"Uncyclopedia was added to the Internet Archives not because of its merit in society, but rather due to its lack thereof," Gillepsie told reporters today outside of his humble yet homely cubicle in the Library of Congress. "Since the Internet was invented by the great Al Gore so long ago, it has grown astoundingly, and has become an undeniable part of worldwide culture," he went on, "and we feel it is our responsibility as part of the government to preserve the best of this incredible database so that future generations may see how our world was shaped through time. However, it is also our duty to preserve the bad as well as the good."
Gillepsie explained that Uncyclopedia's supposed role as a "parody" and "humor" website has allowed it to go completely off the rails and become a real threat to online decency. He noted that its continued efforts to generate laughs and amusement through the mocking of almost anything imaginable have been so successful that now it is beginning to look less like a website and more like an empire. "It has become truly a crazed, demonic force," the Library head insisted, "and now it also serves as encouragement for other parody websites such as Encyclopedia Dramatica or Illogicopedia, although we do admit that Uncyclopedia is the most sophisticated of any parody website so far".
Gillepsie then said that the Library hopes to begin monitoring the website in addition to archiving its every page and detail. "If we can stock up our servers with enough of this crudeness," Gillepsie insisted, "we can certainly have more than enough historical information to show just how bad things can get on the Internet." When asked about issues such as cyber-bullying or child pornography, Gillespie quickly retorted, "Look, this is about simply keeping track of the worst of the Internet. And believe me, Uncyclopedia is the worst. If in the future it gets bad enough that we must retaliate, then so be it. But now we are at the 'Recording Evidence to Maintain Historical Accuracy' phase. So just hold on."
So far, only the most important of the Internet's websites have been selected for preservation, such as AltaVista.com, MySpace.com, and icanhaz.cheezburger.com. "These are the future of our Internet; of our world," stated Gillepsie in closing, not without a hint of pride.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|