UnNews:Uncyclopedia Declared Dead For Almost Entire Day

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19 April 2006

Sickpotato

Uncyclopedia on life support...

Parkview Medical Hospital, Wikiland -

Earlier this morning, Uncyclopedia was declared legally dead before being revived through shock treatment by sysops and admins concerned about the wellbeing of Uncyclopedians.

"The wiki is doing just fine now, it's the users that we are more concerned about at this point."

~ Sir MoneySign on his concern for Uncyclopedia users


MoneySign's statement, ambiguous at first, makes sense when coupled with Parkview's medical records. According to Dr. Poodle, Parkview began to receive users at all hours of the night in the ER complaining of ability to sleep, stability, mild sanity, and regression of carpal tunnel symptoms.

In a statement from his hospital bed, user LinkTGF had this to say about Uncyclopedia's recent outage:

"I freaked out because I couldn't get on Uncyclopedia and fell asleep and when I woke up, my carpal tunnel went away - it's not natural, I tell you! I had photoshopped another 30 images to immediately nominate in VFP but I couldn't get in... [sobbing]"

~ LinkTGF on his relief that Uncyclopedia is ok


In the UK users were affected also. Misters Codeine and Mhaille were reduced to fulfilling aspects of their employment contracts and engaging in actual work.

"I've achieved so much today. I hope they don't expect this all the time. I'm just so relieved that Uncyclopedia has recovered."

~ Mhaille on his disgust at having done manual labour


The cause for the wiki's failing health is yet to be determined but all signs point to hacker users with anonymous IP addresses.

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 212.122.76.213 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 87.248.169.23 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 125.244.128.2 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 210.51.37.71 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 165.228.130.10 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 221.218.249.174 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 210.211.249.117 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 202.160.13.29 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 216.127.69.199 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 61.186.171.85 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 213.193.42.186 on his/her innocence in the matter

"I swear I didn't do it."

~ User 148.235.56.110 on his/her innocence in the matter

More on this story as it develops.

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