UnNews:Uncyclopedia "predicts" Benoit tragedy
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Uncyclopedia "predicts" Benoit tragedy
Straight talk, from straight faces
Thursday, June 22, 2017, 12:15:UTC)(
30 June 2007
WIKIPEDIA, The Internet — The popular (yet less popular than Uncyclopedia) "free encyclopedia" known as Wikipedia reportedly reported that Chris Benoit's reported wife, Nancy, was deceased several hours prior to the actual reported discovery of the massacre at the Benoit residence, reportedly. The Wikipedia editor, IP 127.0.0.1, was arrested by authorities, banned by Wikipedia admins, and is being held for questioning, reportedly.
The Wikipedia edit was as follows: "Chris Benoit was replaced by [Johnny Nitro] for the ECW Championship match at Vengeance, as Benoit was not there due to personal issues, stemming from having brutally murdered his wife Nancy and his son."
UnNews was able to get a brief word with 127.0.0.1's attorney, Ophelia Titzoff, outside of the Stanford, Connecticut police station. "My client is just an anonymous IP who was just doing some trolling, spamming, et cetera. This is all just a coincidence," said Titzoff, "Or at least that's what he wants us to believe." Jimbo Wales, dictator of Wikipedia, gave a brief comment on the matter as well, saying, "Goddamn."
What's even more strange is that Uncyclopedia's entry about Chris Benoit weeks before the gruesome discoveries at the Benoit residence were...well...discovered...read as follows:
"Chris Benoit (May 21, 1967 – June 24, 2007) was a former professional wrestler who went crazy and murdered his wife and child before hanging himself. This occurred on the weekend of June 23rd and 24th of 2007."
Even though Uncyclopedia's version predicted it more accurately than Wikipedia had, Uncyclopedia is not receiving the same attention as Wikipedia. Additionally, the Uncyclopedia editor, Olipro, is currently not under arrest (though he probably should be). When asked about this, Titzoff replied, "What's Uncyclopedia?"