UnNews:UnNews writer writes story to change frontpage image

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UnNews writer writes story to change frontpage image

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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Monday, March 19, 2018, 01:54:59 (UTC)

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4 March 2008


"I'm mad as Hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!" said the furious creationist.

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma, (the internet) -- Well-known Uncyclopedian and cowardly admin Bradaphraser has written an UnNews article strictly to change the image on the front page. Despite the fact that this is a breach of protocol and against the UnOfficial policies of editing only in Good Faith and not abusing admin powers just because something "offends" them, he took this action in desperation.

"Good Lord, did you see the images that have been on the front page the last few days? We had a thong on Yesterday, and somebody actually dressed up a stylized moon to remind us of Goatse. Good God... goatse- on OUR front page!" ranted the puritanical American from Jesusland. "I thought we weren't into the whole shock image thing, but I guess I was wrong."

Brad, like "notable" former Uncyclopedians Nerd42 and Apples, is one of the more conservative users whose views are at a total disconnect with the average Uncyclopedian. While the average age of Uncyclopedians is 16, Bradaphraser is a relic of "the good old days" when Reagan was President, a time which, in the minds of Republicans, there were no vices and everyone got along. Bradaphraser is one of only four Uncyclopedians to have voted for George W. Bush (along with Rangeley, Zombiebaron, anidnmeno, and sannse), and his hard right-wing views are so radical they have been criticized everywhere from conservapedia to WN Wiki.

"The man is a MENACE!" said a user imitating what Mhaille might say, "He's a troublemaker and a hypocrite besides, by Jove! Blimey, he's worse than Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly all rolled into one. Not the kind of fella we need with power around here, eh?" The user then continued to imitate Mhaille by tucking into tea and tiffin on the lawn before engaging in a rigorous game of croquet.

It has been over a year since Bradaphraser's last UnNews article, a rant against slandanity news stories. It's likely that, after this one more-or-less "useful" action of his (at least in his eyes), he's likely to fall back to sleep and await the call of Cthulhu.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.
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