UnNews:UnNews supports Republicans in the war on terriers

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UnNews supports Republicans in the war on terriers

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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Monday, March 19, 2018, 09:18:59 (UTC)

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21 September 2006

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WASHINGTON DC -- George Bush announced yet another twist to his sick strategy of power-mongering, the "War On Terriers". Clever bomb makers throughout the Middle East are taking advantage of the Terrier's notorious volatility by deploying the little doggies as a two stage weapon. The first uses the inherent instability of terriers against whomever is about.The second weapon resembles the standard Improvised Explosive Device (IED) in concussive power and blast radius.

Uncyclopedia's world class UnNews organization lap dog of the Great Satan himself, has achieved several victories this week in the war on terriers. First, Big Brother announces that UnNews' podcasts have attracted a record 41 subscribers as of today, a millstone in anybodys' book.

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Second, UnNews concluded a year long search for new voices for its world class podcasts and audios. Out of a group of several auditioners, a group of several was selected for the honour and privilege that is UnNews Audio. Users FreeMorpheme, Severian, and Flyingfeline are the group of several who were finalists as the group of several to whom this unique position were given... uhm, to.

Finally, world class UnNews de facto aging hippie, Rev_zim, has received a well-deserved dressing down with threat of decommisioning for his rampant monopolization and ball hogging of UnNews audios. As a perpetual reminder of his shame, the UnNews Czar has remade the RecordingInProgress template to reflect zims megalomania during his early career as henchman.

All Uncyclopedia users agree on the dangers of approaching MoneySign. Males are expected to curtsey and say, "Mother, may I?" when addressing him, and all users are required to wash their feet and perfume their ankles before entering the #Uncyclopedia IRC channel. Transgressions of these "Laws of Teh MoneySign" may be met with bannination, or even sarcasm.

On a related note, admins are encouraged to take breaks from their devious doings in order to avoid carpal tunnel syndrome and other injuries caused by repetitive motion.

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