UnNews:UnNews selects Greaves as Editor-in-Chief
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
21 December 2010
UnNews Executive Producer Morris Greeley said UnNews learned of Mr. Greaves through the national publicity his book received. "He fits perfectly with our editorial policy. My staffers are researching a couple of the long words in the book's title as we speak."
Colorado authorities arrested Mr. Greaves in Pueblo for violating Florida's obscenity law. He had mailed a copy of his best-seller to Polk County, Florida deputies, in what Mr. Greeley calls "a clear case of entrapment." Mr. Greeley said UnNews hopes to spirit the author away to company headquarters in California before Florida can prepare extradition papers.
However, Polk Sheriff Grady Judd said the author could be in Florida by Monday night. "It's my goal to have him here eating processed turkey on Christmas Day," he said. Denver First-Amendment attorney David Lane, however, said that it is not clear that the crime against Florida law would be a crime in Colorado. Publisher Greeley said, "It certainly wouldn't be a crime in California, so we have dibs on him. And there is real turkey on the table at the UnNews holiday party."
Mr. Greaves's self-published book of advice on how to safely initiate sexual encounters with children caused a flap when Amazon listed it in November. It includes descriptions of such encounters, written from the child's point of view. Mr. Greeley said, "At UnNews, we would be adamant that such material would be tucked safely inside the Homemaking Pages. Or perhaps Sports."
- Staff "Author Of Pedophilia How-To Book Arrested...Obscenity Charges". Channel 6, Orlando, Florida, December 20, 2010