UnNews:UnNews ignores Kwanzaa

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UnNews ignores Kwanzaa

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Saturday, March 24, 2018, 01:12:59 (UTC)

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27 December 2006


Nope, never heard of it.

Interwebnets - In what is apparently part of a vast misinformation conspiracy, the start of Kwanzaa was completely ignored by UnNews yesterday.

Reaction to the snub was unanimous. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow stated "There is no part of UnNews that is not fraudulent." Rapper Kanye West added "UnNews doesn't care about Kwanzaa".

Inquiries were made to the usual suspects.

Commenting on the oversight, Rev. Zim was heard to exclaim "On your knees!" Rumors of a Monica Lewinski sighting have not been confirmed.

Tshell replied with "No comment".

Ayatollah Gurkhmeini claimed, "The Mormons' mind-control lasers prevented me from writing about Kwa... Kwanz... Kiwi... Quonset... See, I can't even say it."

Procopius was busy with his follow-up to Diogenes searches world for honest mechanic: Diogenes searches for a really good onion ring.

The Humbled Master simply doesn't give a f_ck, and refers the reader to the Third Epistle to the Thessalonians just for the hell of it.

In an act of contrition, Chronarion has proposed declaring February as Black History Month and encourages everyone to write their congressman.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.
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