UnNews:UnNewsAudio

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{{Title|UnNews Audio}}
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[[Image:Ball_gag.jpg|thumb|right|The patented '''UnNews Audio''' microphone gives expression to artists who have always wanted to "work with a strap-on."]]
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'''UnNews Audio''' is a division of UnNews that produces audio recordings of individual articles. This achieves two purposes:
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*On the assumption that there are millions of people who surf to Uncyclopedia every day, but hate to read or even look at the pictures, this gives them something. (Uncyclopedia users who hate both written and spoken English are, for the time being, still S.O.L.)
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*More regular Uncyclopedia fans, who have always wanted to put a face to a username, can now at least put a voice to it, and go, "Coo! didn't know s/he sounded like ''that''!".
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{{RecentUnNewsAudio}}<!-- THIS TEMPLATE CONTAINS A {H3} TEMPLATE (UNNUMBERED THIRD-LEVEL HEAD) -->
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==How to use UnNews Audio==
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===How to listen===
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[[Image:Boiler Room.jpg|thumb|right|256px|The massive equipment that transmits '''UnNews Audio''' is located in the [[basement]] of the headquarters building at One UnNews Centre.]]
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All '''UnNews Audio''' releases are audio in the MP3 format, in files with file type <code>.mp3</code>. There is a list (above and also on the '''UnNews''' front page) of the most recent '''UnNews Audio''' releases. Clicking on the headline sends the audio file to your computer.
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What happens then depends on what your web browser has been instructed to do with <code>.mp3</code> files. Normally, a program you have selected, such as Media Player, Real Player, or Winamp, will be activated and the news report will automatically start playing on your computer's speakers. However, your web browser might be set instead to store the <code>.mp3</code> file on the disk and you might have to take additional action to play the audio.
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===How to author===
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Select an '''UnNews''' article that you are interested in broadcasting. A signaling scheme ensures that two broadcasters won't work on the same article at the same time.
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To "lock" the article and assert exclusive rights to broadcast it, edit the article and add the following to the start: <code>&#123;&#123;[[Template:RecordingInProgress|RecordingInProgress]]|</code>''YourName''<code>}}</code> or <code>&#123;&#123;RIP|</code>''YourName''<code>}}</code>
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Please don't lock an article for more than 4 hours, but complete recording and uploading by then.
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Create an <code>.mp3</code> file with your audio in any way that is most convenient for you. Tips:
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*Make the name of the MP3 file descriptive. It makes it easier to code citations to it if you will do the following:
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**Begin with <code>UnNews--</code> (with two hyphens!) to indicate, in the File: namespace, that the file pertains to UnNews.
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**Make the filename identical to the story's headline.
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*Music-quality (big) MP3 files aren't necessary for voice; read [[User:SPIKE/UnNews#Audio--Technical details|Spike's technical notes]] for tips on what settings to use.
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*In some Audios, a different speaker, a different accent, or a different background noise is used for quotations. Otherwise, say "quote" before the quotation, and "unquote" afterward.
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*You need not read the UnNews story literally:
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**When reading a quotation, you may want to turn the sentence around so that you introduce the speaker before you read the quotation. It's pleasing in written English to break the quotation into two parts, but this doesn't flow well in speech.
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**Some paragraphs need not be read at all--especially when they make a comparison or use figures that need to be seen to be understood.
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**You may also leave out some material to limit the length of the audio feature.
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Then [[Special:Upload|upload the MP3 file with your audio to commons]].
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===How to tell people you've recorded a story===
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;In the story
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Edit the story again. Delete any lock template you inserted before (see above), and add the following as the first line: <code>&#123;&#123;[[Template:UnNewsAudio|UnNewsAudio]]|</code>''YourFileName''<code>.mp3}}</code> --This puts a legend in the text file advising readers that an audio version is available.
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Preview the article and be sure you see the legend, and that there are no [[poifes|red-links]]. This ensures that you correctly typed the name of your audio file.
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;In {{Tl|RecentUnNews}}
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If the story you recorded was advertised in {{Tl|RecentUnNews}} (which lists it on the Uncyclopedia main page), and if you obeyed the file naming rules above, you can indicate that an audio is available by adding the bit shown in red:
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:<code>&#123;{RecentUnNewsItem|</code>''headline<code>[[REDLINK|&#124;audio=1]]}}</code>
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;In {{Tl|RecentUnNewsAudio}}
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Finally, edit {{tl|RecentUnNewsAudio}}. This template is the list of the most recent audio features, as shown at the top of this page. Following the recommendations at the start of the template, and imitating the format of existing entries, add an entry for your article at the top of the list. You'll be adding a line of the following form:
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:''exact-name-of-your-audio-file''<code>.mp3|</code>''Article headline''<code>|</code>''Statistics''<code>|UnNews:</code>''Name of text version''<code>|</code>
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Delete one entry at the bottom of the list so it contains the same number of entries as before.
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'''If you revise your audio,''' also update the above files--for example, if the filename and statistics are different.
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;Elsewhere
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The template <code>&#123;{InlineMedia|</code>''headline''<code>}}</code> (omitting both <code>File:UnNews--</code> and <code>.mp3</code>) is a way to put a legend, {{InlineMedia|"Mr. Peanut" speaks in new ad campaign}}, into a template or a talk page.
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===How to get someone else to record a story===
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[[UN:AUDIO]] is a collection of requests for recording, for UnNews articles and other materials. You can write a request there and see if anyone wants to do the recording.
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==The UnNews Team==
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===Broadcast Staff===
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-ca.png]] [[User:Todd Lyons|Sir Todd Lyons]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: Creator of UnNewsAudio and Executive Producer in Absentia
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-us.png]] [[User:zim_ulator|Rev. Zim_ulator]] [[Image:Foolitzer.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: Editor Emeritus (2007-2010)
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-us.png]] [[User:Electrified mocha chinchilla|emc]] [[Image:Foolitzer.png|16px]]: North American Correspondent, Writer
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-gb.png]] [[User:Olipro|Sir Olipro]] [[Image:Foolitzer.png|16px]][[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: European Correspondent, Writer, Podcast Maintainer, Got Pwned by Zim
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; [[Image:Gadsden.png|16px]] [[User:SPIKE/UnNews|Spike]] [[Image:Foolitzer.png|16px]] &times; 3&nbsp;[[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]] &times; 10: NH Correspondent, Writer, TeleType&reg; curator
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-gb.png]] [[User:Braydie|Braydie]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: UK Correspondent
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-us.png]] {{u|Insineratehymn}}: US Correspondent
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-gb.png]][[Image:Iraq flag 1.png]] [[User:Ununbilium|NeoZidane]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: UK and Middle Eastern Correspondent (you know, that place with crazy [[Arabs]] and [[bombs]] and [[oil]])
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; [[Image:Icons-flag-ca.png]] [[User:Zombiebaron|Zombiebaron]] [[Image:Goldstein award.png|16px]]: Undead Correspondent; on sabbatical
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</div>
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===Other writers whose stuff got broadcast===
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<!--Add your name only if you've had a story recorded by UnNews Audio.
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If you're ALREADY LISTED listed as a Broadcaster/correspondent, don't list yourself here.-->
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Revision as of 09:03, July 15, 2012

Ball gag
The patented UnNews Audio microphone gives expression to artists who have always wanted to "work with a strap-on."

UnNews Audio is a division of UnNews that produces audio recordings of individual articles. This achieves two purposes:

  • On the assumption that there are millions of people who surf to Uncyclopedia every day, but hate to read or even look at the pictures, this gives them something. (Uncyclopedia users who hate both written and spoken English are, for the time being, still S.O.L.)
  • More regular Uncyclopedia fans, who have always wanted to put a face to a username, can now at least put a voice to it, and go, "Coo! didn't know s/he sounded like that!".
Radiomicrophone

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.


How to use UnNews Audio

How to listen

Boiler Room
The massive equipment that transmits UnNews Audio is located in the basement of the headquarters building at One UnNews Centre.

All UnNews Audio releases are audio in the MP3 format, in files with file type .mp3. There is a list (above and also on the UnNews front page) of the most recent UnNews Audio releases. Clicking on the headline sends the audio file to your computer.

What happens then depends on what your web browser has been instructed to do with .mp3 files. Normally, a program you have selected, such as Media Player, Real Player, or Winamp, will be activated and the news report will automatically start playing on your computer's speakers. However, your web browser might be set instead to store the .mp3 file on the disk and you might have to take additional action to play the audio.

How to author

Select an UnNews article that you are interested in broadcasting. A signaling scheme ensures that two broadcasters won't work on the same article at the same time.

To "lock" the article and assert exclusive rights to broadcast it, edit the article and add the following to the start: {{RecordingInProgress|YourName}} or {{RIP|YourName}}

Please don't lock an article for more than 4 hours, but complete recording and uploading by then.

Create an .mp3 file with your audio in any way that is most convenient for you. Tips:

  • Make the name of the MP3 file descriptive. It makes it easier to code citations to it if you will do the following:
    • Begin with UnNews-- (with two hyphens!) to indicate, in the File: namespace, that the file pertains to UnNews.
    • Make the filename identical to the story's headline.
  • Music-quality (big) MP3 files aren't necessary for voice; read Spike's technical notes for tips on what settings to use.
  • In some Audios, a different speaker, a different accent, or a different background noise is used for quotations. Otherwise, say "quote" before the quotation, and "unquote" afterward.
  • You need not read the UnNews story literally:
    • When reading a quotation, you may want to turn the sentence around so that you introduce the speaker before you read the quotation. It's pleasing in written English to break the quotation into two parts, but this doesn't flow well in speech.
    • Some paragraphs need not be read at all--especially when they make a comparison or use figures that need to be seen to be understood.
    • You may also leave out some material to limit the length of the audio feature.

Then upload the MP3 file with your audio to commons.

How to tell people you've recorded a story

In the story

Edit the story again. Delete any lock template you inserted before (see above), and add the following as the first line: {{UnNewsAudio|YourFileName.mp3}} --This puts a legend in the text file advising readers that an audio version is available.

Preview the article and be sure you see the legend, and that there are no red-links. This ensures that you correctly typed the name of your audio file.

In {{RecentUnNews}}

If the story you recorded was advertised in {{RecentUnNews}} (which lists it on the Uncyclopedia main page), and if you obeyed the file naming rules above, you can indicate that an audio is available by adding the bit shown in red:

{{RecentUnNewsItem|headline|audio=1}}
In {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}

Finally, edit {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}. This template is the list of the most recent audio features, as shown at the top of this page. Following the recommendations at the start of the template, and imitating the format of existing entries, add an entry for your article at the top of the list. You'll be adding a line of the following form:

exact-name-of-your-audio-file.mp3|Article headline|Statistics|UnNews:Name of text version|

Delete one entry at the bottom of the list so it contains the same number of entries as before.

If you revise your audio, also update the above files--for example, if the filename and statistics are different.

Elsewhere

The template {{InlineMedia|headline}} (omitting both File:UnNews-- and .mp3) is a way to put a legend, (Gnome-speakernotes listen), into a template or a talk page.

How to get someone else to record a story

UN:AUDIO is a collection of requests for recording, for UnNews articles and other materials. You can write a request there and see if anyone wants to do the recording.

The UnNews Team

Broadcast Staff

Icons-flag-ca Sir Todd Lyons Goldstein award Goldstein award Goldstein award
Creator of UnNewsAudio and Executive Producer in Absentia
Icons-flag-us Rev. Zim_ulator Foolitzer Goldstein award Goldstein award Goldstein award Goldstein award
Editor Emeritus (2007-2010)

Icons-flag-us Sir Brad Frasier Goldstein award
Consultant
Icons-flag-gb Sir Codeine
European Correspondent
Icons-flag-usIcons-flag-gb Sir Dawg
Bi-continental US and UK Correspondent
Icons-flag-us emc Foolitzer
North American Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-gb Sir Elvis
European Correspondent
Icons-flag-us Sir Hinoa
Occasional US Correspondent
Icons-flag-us Lady Keitei
US Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-us L.J. Lego, KBE
US Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-il MordilloFoolitzerGoldstein awardGoldstein awardGoldstein award
Middle Eastern Correspondent, low quality mike holder and bad accents extraordinaire.
Icons-flag-gb Sir Olipro FoolitzerGoldstein award
European Correspondent, Writer, Podcast Maintainer, Got Pwned by Zim
Icons-flag-us Sir Rangeley Goldstein award
US Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-us Sir Severian Goldstein award
US Correspondent, Writer
Gadsden Spike Foolitzer × 3 Goldstein award × 10
NH Correspondent, Writer, TeleType® curator
Icons-flag-us The UnIdiot FoolitzerGoldstein award
US Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-us Zana Dark Goldstein award
US Correspondent, alleged female

Icons-flag-gb Braydie Goldstein award
UK Correspondent
Icons-flag-us Contestant
US Correspondent
Oman flag Fezzul
European Correspondent (with certain Middle Eastern entanglements)
Icons-flag-gb Flyingfeline Goldstein award
UK Correspondent and occasional writer
Icons-flag-gb FreeMorpheme
European Correspondent
Icons-flag-gbIcons-flag-au David Gerard
London Correspondent (Australian), Writer
Icons-flag-nzIcons-flag-au GreaseMonkey
Oceania Correspondent (New Zealand, Australia, Polynesia), Writer, Drama Student, Accent Impersonator (Ey wahnt seex bottles of woine mayte.)
Icons-flag-us Insineratehymn
US Correspondent
Icons-flag-us Jobot37
US Correspondent
Icons-flag-ca Jules Ismail (aka The Roachy Jay)
Canadian at heart, notable Internet personality
Icons-flag-ca Kenvalyi Goldstein award
Canadian Correspondent, Typist
Icons-flag-us MichaelHax
US Correspondent, Attention Whore
Icons-flag-us MNM5150
US Correspondent, worst microphone ever
Icons-flag-gbIraq flag 1 NeoZidane Goldstein award
UK and Middle Eastern Correspondent (you know, that place with crazy Arabs and bombs and oil)
Icons-flag-us NickJonesUSA
US Correspondent (briefly NickLucas)
Icons-flag-us RAHB Goldstein award Goldstein award 
US Correspondent, writer
Icons-flag-us SirIsaac
US Correspondent, inarticulate
Icons-flag-us SirNuke
US Correspondent
Icons-flag-us Gustav SysRq
US Correspondent, Writer
Icons-flag-ca Zombiebaron Goldstein award
Undead Correspondent; on sabbatical

Other writers whose stuff got broadcast

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