UnNews:UnNewsAudio

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

The patented UnNews Audio microphone gives expression to artists who have always wanted to "work with a strap-on."

UnNews Audio is a division of UnNews that produces audio recordings of individual articles. This achieves two purposes:

• On the assumption that there are millions of people who surf to Uncyclopedia every day, but hate to read or even look at the pictures, this gives them something. (Uncyclopedia users who hate both written and spoken English are, for the time being, still S.O.L.)
• More regular Uncyclopedia fans, who have always wanted to put a face to a username, can now at least put a voice to it, and go, "Coo! didn't know s/he sounded like that!".

Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive.

• 27 Apr - Pennsylvania city renames itself for cash (4:01, info) • story
• 22 Apr - US asks Microsoft exec to gum up tax code (3:58, info) • story
• 19 Apr - Company cornering the market on 800 numbers (3:22, info) • story
• 15 Apr - Gadhafi's daughter gives defiant speech (2:53, info) • story
• 13 Apr - Everyone got rolled in the budget deal (2:49, info) • story
• 8 Apr - Romer: Inflation is good for America (2:52, info) • story

edit How to use UnNews Audio

edit How to listen

The massive equipment that transmits UnNews Audio is located in the basement of the headquarters building at One UnNews Centre.

All UnNews Audio releases are audio in the MP3 format, in files with file type .mp3. There is a list (above and also on the UnNews front page) of the most recent UnNews Audio releases. Clicking on the headline sends the audio file to your computer.

What happens then depends on what your web browser has been instructed to do with .mp3 files. Normally, a program you have selected, such as Media Player, Real Player, or Winamp, will be activated and the news report will automatically start playing on your computer's speakers. However, your web browser might be set instead to store the .mp3 file on the disk and you might have to take additional action to play the audio.

edit How to author

Select an UnNews article that you are interested in broadcasting. A signaling scheme ensures that two broadcasters won't work on the same article at the same time.

To "lock" the article and assert exclusive rights to broadcast it, edit the article and add the following to the start: {{RecordingInProgress|YourName}} or {{RIP|YourName}}

Please don't lock an article for more than 4 hours, but complete recording and uploading by then.

Create an .mp3 file with your audio in any way that is most convenient for you. Tips:

• Make the name of the MP3 file descriptive. It makes it easier to code citations to it if you will do the following:
  • Begin with UnNews-- (with two hyphens!) to indicate, in the File: namespace, that the file pertains to UnNews.
  • Make the filename identical to the story's headline.
• Music-quality (big) MP3 files aren't necessary for voice; read Spike's technical notes for tips on what settings to use.
• In some Audios, a different speaker, a different accent, or a different background noise is used for quotations. Otherwise, say "quote" before the quotation, and "unquote" afterward.
• You need not read the UnNews story literally:
  • When reading a quotation, you may want to turn the sentence around so that you introduce the speaker before you read the quotation. It's pleasing in written English to break the quotation into two parts, but this doesn't flow well in speech.
  • Some paragraphs need not be read at all--especially when they make a comparison or use figures that need to be seen to be understood.
  • You may also leave out some material to limit the length of the audio feature.

Then upload the MP3 file with your audio to commons.

edit How to tell people you've recorded a story

In the story

Edit the story again. Delete any lock template you inserted before (see above), and add the following as the first line: {{UnNewsAudio|YourFileName.mp3}} --This puts a legend in the text file advising readers that an audio version is available.

Preview the article and be sure you see the legend, and that there are no red-links. This ensures that you correctly typed the name of your audio file.

In {{RecentUnNews}}

If the story you recorded was advertised in {{RecentUnNews}} (which lists it on the Uncyclopedia main page), and if you obeyed the file naming rules above, you can indicate that an audio is available by adding the bit shown in red:

{{RecentUnNewsItem|headline|audio=1}}

In {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}

Finally, edit {{RecentUnNewsAudio}}. This template is the list of the most recent audio features, as shown at the top of this page. Following the recommendations at the start of the template, and imitating the format of existing entries, add an entry for your article at the top of the list. You'll be adding a line of the following form:

exact-name-of-your-audio-file.mp3|Article headline|Statistics|UnNews:Name of text version|

Delete one entry at the bottom of the list so it contains the same number of entries as before.

If you revise your audio, also update the above files--for example, if the filename and statistics are different.

Elsewhere

The template {{InlineMedia|headline}} (omitting both File:UnNews-- and .mp3) is a way to put a legend, ( listen), into a template or a talk page.

edit How to get someone else to record a story

UN:AUDIO is a collection of requests for recording, for UnNews articles and other materials. You can write a request there and see if anyone wants to do the recording.

edit The UnNews Team

edit Broadcast Staff

edit Other writers whose stuff got broadcast