UnNews:UnFree UnNews more productive than Free UnNews
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UnFree UnNews more productive than Free UnNews
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, January 22, 2017, 08:29:UTC)(
14 January 2013
EVIL WIKIA HEADQUARTERS, San Francisco, USA -- In one of those "unexpected" developments like each monthly report showing increased unemployment, the UnNews service of Uncyclopedia has been unexpectedly productive. Since January 5, when the wire services reported that all Uncyclopedia's authors emigrated to a new site and the service had become "deprecated" and was operating as a "sandbox," "Free Uncyclopedia" has produced a mere trickle of articles. In the last five days, "Free Uncyclopedia" has produced 10 UnNews stories, whereas...shall we call it "UnFree UnNews"...has produced
15 oops, make that 16 now.
The cause of the increased productivity is unknown, but it may paradoxically be due the smaller size of UnFree Uncyclopedia. An anonymous source said, "With the mass exodus of editors and vandals to Free Uncyclopedia, things have slowed down. I can no long keep occupied by bantering in BHOP, bickering about hypothetical policy changes in the village dump, or adding Category:Nonnude Boobage to every other image uploaded to the wiki. I can't even spend time undoing every IP edit; all the vandals have fled to Free Uncyclopedia. Out of utter boredom, I am forced to write articles to pass the time."
In recent days, some have accused UnNews of "navelism." This is technically defined as an undue fixation on navels, generally associated with pregnancy fetishism, but applicable to any belly- or belly-button-related fetish. However, UnFree Uncyclopedia denies the charge. The interim anonymous UnNews Editor-in-Chief summed it up: "Some people claim that UnFree UnNews has added 9 pregnancy-related news articles in the last 8 days. However, 2 of articles were about nonpregnancy or abortion, so they should count as negative, and one old piece of cyber-bullying about pregnancy was deleted. That should also count as a negative. And one of the pregnancy-related articles was written by someone without a pregnancy fetish, so that one should count as a negative too. That leaves 5 gross articles, minus 4, for a total of one net pregnancy-related UnNews article. I would ask you if 1 pregnancy-related article is enough to brand UnFree UnNews as a navelist unnews source."
UnFree UnNews also denies the charge of gloating over their greater article count. The same anonymous Chief stated, "We are not gloating. Free UnNews is just butt-hurt because we are so much better than they are. Although, to be fair, our awesomeness gives them much to be butt-hurt over, so it is understandable."