UnNews:US Town Set To "ban long skirts"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||A newsstand that's brimming with issues|
14 June 2007
A MAYOR IN THE US STATE of Louisiana says he will sign into law a proposal to make wearing long skirts an act of Terrorism. Delcambre town council unanimously passed the ordinance earlier this week making it a crime for women to wear skirts "below the knee".
"If a woman wears a dress or skirt that covers her knees, displaying overt modesty, they will be fined or even shot on sight!" Mayor Broussard said this morning, "to dress in this manner is plainly an overt proclamation of support for Islamic fundamentalism across the world. I love my country and will not tolerate this!".
Speaking of ladies who display a modest dress sense, Mr Broussard told the Associated Press news agency: "It is their duty to this town and the USA to dress in a provocative way and show a bit of bare thigh. To flout this responsibility is, to my mind, and out and out act of Terror!"
However in a last minute concession the Mayor announced that exceptions will be made for long dresses that, "have an obvious split in them right up to the crutch or arse cheek."
Town attorney Ted Ayo added "This is a new ordinance that deals specifically with over long dresses," Mr Ayo said. "It's about the survival of our nation. For Christs sake, look at what happened in 9/11 when we took our eye off the ball!"
The law comes hot on the heels of the legalisation of rape, "if you say "no" then you're plainly a supporter of Terror and so WILL BE defined as an "enemy combatant"", the mayor said in passing the law last week.