UnNews:US Govt. encourages Perverts!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
US Govt. encourages Perverts!
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, February 7, 2016, 07:06:UTC)(
12 May 2008
Today, this embedded UnNews reporter has found out that the US Government has come up with a plan to satisfy the needs of child molesters and perverts everywhere.
The US Government is actually encouraging children to go OUTSIDE so that the perverts can choose, inspect and then have sex with them. One pervert, who is Michael Jackson, says that, "Its about time the US government let US play with the Kiddies!", and another pervert, who is Hillary Clinton said that,"Not only I can teach about sex, I can take two of the kids, one a boy, the other, a girl, strip them down, use them AS teaching matter and watch them as they have sex!"
This has made some judges really happy, such as Judge Moses, who had made it possible to allow perverts and kids to "get together".
One pervert likened the US Govt. directive about getting kids outside to the old slave auctions of the pre Civil War South.
One concerned parent said that,"This is like being in Communist China! Those idiots expect us to let perverts have sex with our kids?" Another said that,"Now what is 'Big Pharma' going to do NOW? They make Million$ placing our kids on drugs, to keep them from being children. Who is going to be forced to take all of that Ritalin? My dog? My cat? ME? I AIN'T TAKING IT!"
The "Tots for Perverts" bill has passed in a major landslide, signed into law by President Bush while 1,000s of registered "sex offenders" and perverts looked on. One pervert then picked up a girl, aged 14, stripped her then has sex with her, which was caught on camera, and one of the police officers said that, "What do WE do now with all of those rapists and other sex offenders that we have locked up?" One of the perverts, namely a recently arrested religious cultist, said, "Now you'll have to arrest real criminals, such as......yourselves and other so called 'decent' law abiding people. LET'S SMOKE WEED AND HAVE SEX!!!!"