UnNews:UNICEF puts the UK at top of its league
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
UNICEF puts the UK at top of its league
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Monday, October 24, 2016, 07:13:UTC)(
19 February 2007
UNICEF has produced a glowing report showing how well civilization is starting to crumble in two of the worlds richest nations. The UK just pipped the USA to the post as being the most effective nation at undermining child-well being in the 21st Century. It is now just a matter of time before civilization as we've known it is toppled from within by the next generation.
One of the main findings is that these two leading industrialized nations have finally managed to undermine family structures in a way that neither the Stalinist experiment in the 1920s nor the Israeli kibbutz initiative in the 1950s were able to do. Politicians have been trying for some while to find a way of destroying the family in the hope that it could be replaced by something a bit more politically correct and less patriarchal. Now, according to the UNICEF report, Britain and America can be congratulated for succeeding in the family's destruction, though the jury's still out over what's going to replace it. Many believe that the next step is just a matter of ensuring that retarded nations like the Netherlands, which came bottom of the UNICEF league, are chivvied into catching up.
Americans can be proud that, though they weren't at the top of the list, they did beat Britain in the field of illiteracy. Considerably more American children have fewer than ten books in their home than do British children. The US also beat Britain when it came to keeping 15-19 year olds out of full time education, an important factor in ensuring that knowledge and knowhow from previous generations doesn't get passed on to the next.
The US lost out, however, when it comes to young people's peer and family relationships, though Americans did come out top overall for the percentage of young people living in single-parent households. Analysts believe that single parents are one of the key drivers to ensure the successful ending of civilization. Children of single families don't have much of a clue about family life and aren't socialized in any traditional sense. When they grow up, they perpetuate and accentuate their dysfunctional attitudes in the next generation, and so on.
The US Government can be thanked for keeping Americans ahead in this game as subsidies for single-parents continue to grow. Keeping the "other" parent away is also an important factor, and family lawyers on both sides of the Atlantic should be warmly congratulated for using divorce laws and benefit-entitlement policies to ensure that children only benefit from the input of one parent, who is in any event encouraged to go out to work. Children can then be left in the hands of professionals, who are trained to keep their country at or near the top of the UNICEF league.