UnNews:UN, UnNews to unite
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UN, UnNews to unite
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, March 24, 2018, 08:38:UTC)(
24 May 2006
New York City, NY In a quest to rid the world from ignorance, infallible news source UnNews and World laughingstock the United Nations have joined forces, started UNNews. In today's press release, UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan announced his support for the hard-hitting, fast-paced, and newsworther news embodied in the flawless, almost Chuck Norris-like reporting only UnNews can deliver. "Sadly, too many of our world's youth are being brainwashed by North Korean state television, Fox News, and, worst of all, Wikipedia," he said. "UnNews stands alone in her quest to deliver the truth, and, in that respect, is more correct than the Bible, the Qu'ran, the Tanakh, and the Vedas combined."
Annan went on to talk about the United Nations' decision to make UNNews the homepage for all UN computers. Quoth he, "Our secretaries, ambassadors, secret police, paramilitary, and Miniluv task force need to be presented with a factual, unbiased, and content-free view of what is happening in the world if they are eventually going to dominate it. Did I say that? I meant 'ensure peace.' LOL!"
For this monumental decision, Annan has already been guaranteed salvation by every deity known to man except Loki. "Clearly," states Wikipedia founder Jimbo Wales, "This is a sign of divine support of UnNews, Uncyclopedia, and the entire Uncyclomedia Foundation."