UK leaves Uncyclopedia

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24 June 2016


Echoes are ringing out in the hallways of Uncyclopedia headquarters.

WIKIA CITY, California -- British Uncyclopedians, in harmony with their nation's recent vote to withdraw from the European Union, have walked out of Uncyclopedia and have declared that "we'll do it on our own."

"We are sodding off, as there is bugger-all reason to stay," said one prolific author from Scotland, prompting a haughty scolding from an American Admin that writing in code is cryptic and never funny.

The satire wiki is no stranger to fissures and schisms, having proven in 2013 that the best elixir for a declining population of funny writers willing to learn the arcana of Wikicoding is to rend the project neatly in half and dedicate one half to sabotaging the other.

Unlike the Brexit campaign, there are no statistics to measure the consequences of this newest group rage-quit, as webhost Wikia does not publish readership figures on individual wikis but merely insists that it is the world's biggest social media website, excepting Facebook, Twitter, and a few dozen others that can't match its content anyway and rarely have any Bronies at all. For that reason, Wikia says that highly suggestible American teenage girls — the world's most lucrative advertising target — rarely use the bigger sites.

The English Uncyclopedians will develop new material on Sinclair computers, and will develop methods of sharing text that may use modems. Their first task will be to revise the style manual to mandate cryptic Elizabethan expressions, then revise classic articles to reinsert the letter u where it had been removed. The break-away wiki will be free of Wikia's harsh year-long campaign to make JavaScript hacks impossible. Editors vowed to start their separate life of freedom by promptly penetrating themselves.

The remaining Americans will have no remaining outlet except listy toilet humor — which may prompt them to consider reunifications and re-rage-quits, which are always a surer success than irony and misdirecting the reader.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.